ANGER MANAGEMENT – CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL

Sailors who have sailed under my command will vouch —

“ Captain never got angry .  He used his own anger at will to boost his own performance. He would hang the sword of Damocles on top of the Captain’s chair even before he sat on it.  He would kick the shore bosses beehive- as a FIRST THINGS FIRST personal policy.   Captain never used his anger to manipulate others-only on himself , so that he is never in his comfort zone.  He deliberately caused his angry shore bosses to waiting in  ambush from him,  to slip up and give them half a chance to screw him.   Captain never got ambushed or screwed .   Captain would sneak up from behind and kick the ambush party on their collective asses, on his own time table telling them “Try harder you fuckin’ cunts !“.

Often my critics and my well wishers ask me why I self inflict and keep the Sword of Damocles dangling all the time over me . I tell them – it is mE style.

Here is the secret--

Insecurity or the sword of Damocles is the chief propulsive power in this world. Some mavericks, like you know who-- welcome a certain amount of frustration as a challenge—it gives them a kick to overcome it.

Treat a quickened pulse caused by adrenaline rush as an ally –and not as an enemy. You have the power now to convert fear into excitement, flight to fight.

When people gun for them it gives a chance to prove themselves . Tactical anger has more to do than what meets the eye. You can now do things you would not have done normally.

Some people need to feel angry in order to create enough leverage on themselves to make a change. Too little stress may be as harmful as too much stress, especially when you want to get a task done.

Some stress or stimulation is needed for optimum performance—this is termed positive stress response PSR. Optimum stimulation causes creativity and change.

Performance rises as stress increases. Once a optimum point is crossed however, increasing stress impairs judgement and alertness and performance falls off. Too much stress causes panic and feeling of inability to cope.

And in any case, I perform best in a hostile environment. I love to hit six sixes on to a hostile crowd baying for my blood—bleeding their mangy noses .

I have NO use for chamchas or favours from my bosses.  It was a measure of supreme confidence in my own abilities . 

Why my juniors in total awe tell me “Sir, you are my role model”— I warn them “I am a dangerous role model "

Sailors who knew me better would vouch   " You dont know the depth of Captain-- if he were to write a true auto biography  , a book titled GAMES CAPTAIN PLAYED ( with more than 5000 episodes like the one below )  -- you will faint “

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Capt. Ajit Vadakayil

December 25, 2014 at 10:48 AM

hi bz,

the hindu must stop being SELF LOATHING. after that everything will fall into place.

3 decades as ship captain- i made sure all were in AWE of India ( not capt ajit vadakayil ).

i used to attend GORA job interviews just for the heck of it -- just for kicks

i dared them to fail me, because the interview would be a panel - not a single man .

I had ZERO inclination of joining them. for i was the blue eyed boy of my company SCI, i worked in 

Just one WEE example?

in 1983 i appeared for a MOBIL interview for ship captain .

why did i choose mobil -- because they had sacked ALL the Indian captains they had chosen till then , for incompetence .

and i knew they would call me first -- for i had maximum of VLCC experience with COW / IG etc which nobody else had .  VLCC is a ship which carries around 300,000 tonnes of crude.

NOW I WILL REVEAL AN INCIDENT WHICH WOULD HAVE GONE INTO MY BOOK "GAMES CAPTAIN PLAYED ".

2 days before the interview with a certain englishman capt sindon ( a hard nut ) at mumbai yacht club, i was sleeping in seaman's club when my batchmate woke me up and told me " ajit , capt aga senior wants to talk to you. he is waiting for you ".

capt aga senior ( a parsee ) was considered by all the grand old man of indian shipping.

so i walked down to his chambers just 50 metres away at Ballard estate Mumbai.

Aga told me " son, all the Indian captains whom i have chosen have let me down -- all of them have been sacked , or will be sacked soon for incompetence, could you reverse this trend , or i stand to lose this agency . they will soon stop recruiting Indians "

i re-assured him " Sir, Capt Sindon will see me in his worst nightmares !"

i wore a suit for the interview at the royal yacht club .

i was the first to be called in, as i predicted .

there were 5 men in the panel ,which included capt aga with the GORA Capt Sindon , calling the shots.

no good mornings from me -- so the red colour sprung on sindon's ears .

a brown indian must grovel, right ?

he was rude -

he asked me some trick questions whose answers i gave even before he could finish the questions - now his nose too became red .

some of his questions - i answered with counter questions ( it requires brains to do that ) and now his whole face was red ..

then he reminded me brusquely -- that he is supposed to ask the questions in that room.

he stuck to pure tanker work -- in this area i was the principal of the school where Englishman capt sindon would not even get admission in LKG.

he asked me about a vent riser fire –

i told him a revolutionary concept of cutting off the flame with a flame quencher wire mesh ( available in a store ) -- i used to play in the school lab on the bunsen burner .

he said -- you cant do it.

i said-- i can, your opinion is your opinion .

infuriated , capt sindon looked on either side and saw the interview panelists ( all wise experienced Indians all over 65 age ) were smirking with capt aga's gargantuan belly jumping like jelly.

he now turned hajaaar technical.

he literally threw the tank profile of a product tanker across the table -- this was supposed to be the failing question -- see i am gonna screw you-- you brown bastard .

i saw from the corner of my eye that it was the daedal tank profile of a russian product tanker on whose sister ship i had made 37 voyages as a chief officer -- carrying 4 grades of petrol, kerosene, naphtha ,and high speed diesel for IOC.

if there was a crackerjack on the planet on that sheet of paper it was ME alone .

i asked him-- name the grades -- he did.

i filled the sheet from forward part of the ship towards the aft - using only my PERIPHERAL VISION -- all the time eye balling the red faced gora gaand.

.

i must admit - it is IMPOSSIBLE to do that-- unless this tank profile was in your subconscious-- and i had not even looked at the sheet.

i filled up the cargo grades and threw the sheet back at him , exactly the way he threw it at me . -- not an iota more - not an iota less.

gora gaand was bedazed -- he nearly fell of the chair .

he asked me what my solicitudes were - - and i told him - about contamination, the port rotation , max pumping rate -BLAH BLAH .

ALL THOSE WHO ARE NIBBY AS TO WHAT THIS TAKES , WHEN MORE THAN 4 GRADES ARE INVOLVED ON A CHEMICAL TANKER –CHECK OUT THE POST BELOW -

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2013/02/stowage-of-multiple-parcels-on-chemical.html

thinking i was sonsy he gave me another blank tank profile sheet and gave me a different port rotation with different cargo rotation.

Again, i filled up the blanks using my peripheral vision , all the time eye balling our red faced gora gaand -- this time in reverse from aft of the ship to forward part

this is impossible even for an extremely perspicacious  person - but I had a secret of 37 voyages —why should I tell him that ?

it takes a great deal of perception even to fill up grade wise .

by now the indian panelists were openly smirking PRR BRRR TTRRRRR and making merry-they had sort of thrown caution to the winds .

FUCK YOU CHOOT CAPT SINDON , IS WHAT WENT ON IN THEIR HEARTS .

by now 45 minutes had passed -it was like a exam-- and i had come out of the ordeal with flying colours.

he asked the indian interview panel captains--would you like to ask Capt Ajit something ?

they aid NOPE -- you have asked him enough !!

he stuck his hand forwards and cried " WELCOME TO MOBIL! "

i overpassed his outstretched hand and said -- so far you have asked me all the questions , now it is my turn –

what are my terms and conditions ?

gora gaand now nearly got a stroke-- he hissed at the Indians "have you not told him about this already- what the hell is happening , BLAH BLAH "

i interjected " they told me about your mobil logo boiler suit and your safety shoes --that is not what i look for -- what are my terms for wife carriage , i plan to get married soon ?"

now he nearly frothed from his mouth , he went back to interview mode .

he hissed - dont you think wives are a disturbing influence on the ship.

i drawled -- not indian wives!

all indians started smirking again--PRR TTEE BRRR TSSS!

then he asked - if your second mate's wife has an affair with the mate , what action?

i lisped- as far as i know my second mate and mate will be indian -- so i will NOT have this problem- that is the answer .

he started off- i cut him out—

my doorway is small and it cannot let in any pachyderm, why take questions of an elephant in my room .

then he says --when do you plan to join?

i said - after 2 months , after marrying and a nice honeymoon.

he angrily says --in this form you filled and signed --there is no indication of a 2 month delay.

i said-- that sentiment was at that time --check out the date i filled it up.

Since that date , i have changed mE mind - I am a flexible guy

then he says - your previous employers have been very kind to you-- they have given you a huge super tanker as your first command - why kick them in the teeth ?

i said- that is a secret which i dont want to tell you !

sindon paaji tells me -- you have accumulated long leave -- i suggest you dont resign from SCI, do a contract with us and then resign .

A VEILED THREAT - TEEEE HEEEEEEEE !

capt ajit vadakayil

..
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http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2010/11/blue-ocean-leadership-capt-ajit.html

I was a most successful CHANGE MANAGER at sea.  You cant do justice unless you know the human psyche .

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2010/12/change-management-capt-ajit-vadakayil.html

I used the DOMINO and CASCADE method .  People who watch me will vouch “ Captain rarely moved a finger—yet things happened like magic .  He was NOT a hardworking Captain, yet he was the most effective ”

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2013/04/domino-effect-in-change-management-capt.html

Sailors who know me will vouch  “ Captain would never ever be a Donald Trump where all and sundry are shitting on his face.  When it came to crushing negativity Captain was the best “

Sailors who know me will cry “ Captain prioritized every hour.  He was a grandmaster in TIME management.   Captain could start a job and complete it too.  He was the type who would draw a small circle on the wall , do HAJAAAAAR boasting first , to piss his bosses off -- and then throw the dart on bulls eye, using his peripheral vision –  unlike others who threw the dart first and then drew a circle around it “  .

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2010/11/time-management-capt-ajit-vadakayil.html

A LEADER MANAGES MEN.   

A MANAGER MANAGES INVENTORIES .

If you need to manage men , you need to be a master on the subject of human ANGER .

FIRST READ THIS POST BELOW.    IT TELLS YOU ABOUT AMYGDALA.

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2014/01/road-rage-when-your-amygdala-hijacks.html

Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.  

If someone breaks your car windshield , or tears your passport , or puts a finger into your 12 year old daughters twat in a crowded bus, you MUST get angry.  If not then you are a retard.  

Retarded mortals chosen by Jew Rothschild have become FAKE gurus and even gods .

We can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

Justice is blind as required by Jew Rothschild . You may have saved your wife from a mortal blow at midnight on a deserted street— the “lawyer turned judge” tied down by mindless nay chootiya procedures , caught in the chakravyuh of activity traps , does not care . 

This is why India must go back to the jury system..

The bloodied nose can be put into jail by the spiked kosher fist. The spiked fist controls the judges in his kosher payroll.  We live in a strange era where whoever won the physical fight is the loser in court.  

Natural justice and context is kicked under the carpet.  

Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger.. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate.

Anger is an emotional response to a real or imagined threat or provocation. Anger can range in intensity from mild irritation to extreme rage. Anger is not necessarily a “bad” emotion. Anger makes people feel strong and powerful, which can motivate them to stand up for what they believe is right.

Below: Anger can be channeled to boost performance 

THERE ARE LOT OF UNMARRIED , BARREN,  PMS LADEN WOMEN WHO RULE PLACES OF THIS PLANET..

THEIR ANGER IS DRIVEN BY HORMONES .    AND GOD SAVE ANY MAN WHO IS THE TARGET OF SUCH BATTLE AXE WOMEN

Western marriages fail as there is too much of DRIP DRIP nagging at home..  Nagging focuses on what a person is not doing,  and hence has a negative focus . 

Nagging—the vicious verbal abuses,  the demeaning talk,  the blame game, the one upmanship,  the personal attacks,  the immoral manipulations,  the need to make the husband feel stupid , the heartache rising out of vulgar ultimatums, the endless pestering—nay- hectoring , does not put a man into a giving mood— and thus a vicious cycle is born. 

Nagging  promotes negative and destructive emotions such as vitriolic censure, anger, condemnation and deep emotional agitation cum resentment in both partners.  Nagging can never be an effective way to communicate your needs and will almost always produce negative results. He will just cut you off mentally , stop hearing you, and the more you nag, the less he will respond to your needs.

Somewhere along the line, the woman has graduates from partnership to dictatorship.   There is no reality, only perception.   What seems an imminent need or a dire emergency for the pea brained woman many not be the same for the husband, who has just home after a hard and enervating day at work. 

In a happy home, there must never be a call to surrender your dignity.  Support must be politely invited not commandeered.  There must not be any rules for rules sake.  Even if there is a minor argument, the aim is progress for the family and household , never personal victory and oneupmanship. 

No husband will want his wife and children to suffer, or loss of finances because he refused to do something,  or he is laid back for a while on a Sunday.   It is the battle axe shrew’s “I want it to be done now”  and “on the spot” decisions that leads to this emotional tussle.  

And most of the time, it is all about her hormones (estrogen dominance over progesterone ) playing up  - or plain starvation of a good manful pounding.  Because it is a vicious cycle, a beautiful woman woman can become as attractive as a drowned cat when she starts drip drip nagging—and it is difficult for a man to get it up. 

A nagging woman sweats the small stuff for no reason at all and loses grace under this self imposed pressure.   She labors to change the wind in a pea brained manner , when all it needs is to adjust the sails a wee bit. 

She is always  in tunnel vison , microscope mode.  Getting into the telescope mode to see the big picture is beyond her hare brained mental faculty,  which gets its input from mindless chess board logic. 

She has her eyes fixed on the rear view mirror most of the time and is unable to discard the shed snake skins of the past.  Her huge ego is always on the front burner boiling over .   Her own bullsh#t map is more important for her, than the real terrain.

She cannot distinguish between constructive criticism and destructive personal attack.  She employs crude ego powered strategies like name calling in raised shrill voice.  Her queen sized ego confuses opinions with facts.  

She is unable to distinguish between action and reaction any more .  The nagging shrew must wax indignant, opening past baggage strewing the sordid things around – only to get the upper hand ,and live in it , and never to draw healing lessons.   She finds it necessary  to re-open old healed wounds on her own time table , all the while moaning aloud in persecution mode. 

She revels in high handed domination and intimidation—some times snide hints that she might commit suicide if something is NOT done the way she wants and the minute she wants.   The man knows that if he does not acquiesce she will give him an overdose of indifference, apathy and lack of enthusiasm , as punishment. 

She will blow hot and then blow cold- from high pitched yodeling and melodrama to sullen silence , like how dentists pries your teeth out with a to and fro movement. She is addicted to self pity and gets stuck in that moment. She burns all her energy in sustaining her falthu ego and then gets pooped. 

She shifts goal posts whenever she wants and rearranges blind spots and shadow sectors in her radar in a vulgar and mean manner. When she is in full NAG NAGflow, the things that matter most are always at the mercy of things that matter the least.

Harsh words by a woman (who has lost her moral compass) , to her beloved husband are like nails driven into wood.   She may later remove the nails, by way of making up — but these holes remain forever in the psyche.

Many men yield when nagged, only because they know that yielding is a valuable skill to preserve sanity and for the larger interests of the children.   He tries to brainwash himself that his wife’s NAG NAG is the power of accurate and wise expression and NOT cynicism at its fuckin' best.   

She will NOT understand that in a home ethos is shared, and the concept of scapegoating cannot exists , if there has to be harmony.   That a house must be run on trust and not control.   How lomg can the poor husband romance the stress while on the receiving end hour after hour. 

Whatever needs to be done had to be done sans all the endless drama , without trampling on the dignity of everybody else in the house. The nagging woman has taken a trick out of "evangelist" religion— to create a "sense of guilt", so that she can milk the situation.   She uses perfectionism to achieve this goal, and this perfectionism arises out of repressed sexuality .   Perfectionism is nothing but a deep ego trip.  

She will NOT allow her husband’s  life its freedom.   All her so called pain is all self chosen, as nagging is a vicious self defeating cycle..  She is literally shooting herself in the foot by this endless nagging, as this will surely deny her the joys of a happy marriage.

The nagging  is so busy comfortable in finding fault with her husband , that she fails to see any good in him . Her husband is afraid to show any love and affection, for fear of caustic rejection –with a kick on the shin for good measure.   After all this she may say it was not her intent but it was a faulty delivery. But Madame MIM , delivery is what matters.

She fails to see innocence in her husband’s mistakes.  Her falthu sense of justice cannot be balanced with an iota of compassion.  She would rather spin her wheels endlessly on enforcing compliance to her stupid rules . You see she is the queen bee and NO worker drone can challenge her “inflicted “ status quo and activity traps. 

She is unable to even listen to a point of view without getting threatened and flowing out a flood of tears.  The husband is at the receiving end of her selective perceptions and distorted and pea brained interpretations.   

Grace and honour within the confined of the home , has gone for a toss.  The impressionable children die a thousand times unable to digest all this.   Even these small kids know that the mother is trying hard to win a bullsh#t battle at the expense of losing the war — which means divorce.

Her love for her husband is limited because insane ego and selfishness is contained in it , and hence she wastes her energy in resentment.   Her unhappiness is an ego created mental cum emotional disease. The chatter of her ego continuously disrupts her natural state of well being.  Her stress is all within her mind , not by external threat from her husband or children.

Her queen sized ego creates suffering without recognising it.  She lugs a huge  amount of unnecessary baggage, both mental and emotional through out her married life.

She has to hang on to  old emotions to strengthen her identity and gain leverage and hence an upper hand. She will  disagree with her husband in public  just because he is the one who said it.  Her fathu ego makes her take everything personally. 

She deliberately mistakes a short memory for a clear conscience and hence is miserable within. Her overbearing ego must  create rules for rules’ sake in the home; Her family will  NOT even miss her if she goes on a 3 month vacation to the Himalayas.

She will brood endlessly on her petty grievances, and can never hold a vision that can lift her out of herself.

She substitutes her thinking capabilities with  loud cynical hollering capabilities.  When she argues with her husband she will act as if she is fighting for survival and there is a imminent need to win at all costs. OK, she wants a sense of order and security—but hey, how about giving a sense of freedom to other people in the house, who are NOT retards, as she thinks .

Such is the self delusion caused by female ego which  thrives on reactivity.  The danger zone is when she starts thinking that her so called  accomplishments earns her the right to be condescending, obnoxious and down right abusive. 

The PARADOX is that suffering caused by the ego eventually destroys the ego—she realizes that after a couple of divorces, and when her children refuse to acknowledge her as their mother.

When a man gets  verbally castrated every hour at home,  he cannot be happy.   Nor can the children who love their dad.   

Women who nag their children destroy what balance fragile self-esteem they might have, When a nagging woman sees her 7 year old son enjoying a cone of icecream ,  she has to fast-forward to obesity and diabetes.  She has never been in the moment-- the way the Bhagawat Gita want us to be.. 

This is what she has become -- a misanthrope monster !.  

While the husband would be enjoying the sweet sight of his dear son slurping and drooling all over the icecream.

Is it ever possible to nag someone into permanent change?  Having worked as a change manager myself, I can tell you, it is impossible.   Nagging can  produce only a short-term result that looks positive. 

I have been a ship captain and leader of men for 30 years.  Have I ever done any nagging like a woman as a leader of men? – all this extravagant faultfinding,  endless whining,  biting criticism,  cynical tongue lashing,  hairsplitting,  nit-picking,  persistent pestering,  phlegmy wheedling , relentless swiping and sniping -- 

Nagging puts the vicious disrespectful woman is the parent role and her "inadequate" husband ( at the receiving end ) in the child role.  This tears the marital  relationship  asunder .

If the nagging woman avoids blame game phrases, "You always..." and "You never..." ,  and switches to a more respectful "would you " rather than "could you "— she could make things happen. 

Tone matters.

No self respecting man will respond to sniping condescending retorts – for he does not deserve the indignity of an elaborate response.   Rather she has to find another way to deal with her personal frustrations. 

Nagging gives the husband a feeling that he is being scolded by his mother.  He has grown out of this pahse of life and he does NOT to go back there again—for the rest of his married life.

He does NOT respond usually because probably it is an unpalatable truth thrown at him without tact and he knows that his answer will disappoint his wife or get her even more pissed off. 

Pretty soon he will fight with his wife about her nagging rather than talking about the issue at the root of the nagging—which could be plain sexual repression.

The husband at the receiving end of severe nagging may look superficially to be cool , with a glazed long distance stare-- but internally he is in knots with even his brain clenched.

If the wife has to curb her nagging , first of all she has to accept that she is a nagger and stuck in a rut or mud or whatever. The nagging shrew tries to dominate her husband subconsciously,  while trying to get a point across –rather she piggy backs on each point,  to rub his nose on the ground.

Psychologists will tell you that wives who nag are often saddled by a deep inferiority complex and are insecure. Their nagging tries to camouflage this feeling of inadequacy-- it provides an illusion of power and superiority.

No marital relationship is that perfect ( leave out Capt Ajit Vadakayil ).   At one time or another, one partner will  end up doing something that upsets or annoys the other. Every husband perceives nagging as a form of punishment by a control freak.    

A real man can take a blow, but harsh demeaning words linger for ever in his psyche. Only by eliminating nagging can you eliminate negativity, resentment and hostility. Only then can the your relationship  blossom .  Marriage has to be viewed as a compromise, in this context—if you want to foster acceptance and a  healthy relationship.

Remember it is within your control to turn this situation around for the sake of happiness and peace at home —and for the benefit of your children who are in the cross fire or wind tunnel or whatever.  All it requires is some emotional integrity.

Home is a place to de-stress, if you have some commonsense , you will know what I mean. No point in white knuckling your life at home.  Remember it never hurts to ask politely rather than complain like a bitch. 

A husband –wife relationship is inter-dependence, with of course a fair amount of independence. There is NO need to box each other in. Get rid of the negative energy in the house.  Focus on the positive in the relationship and refuse to allow negativity into your relationship space. 

Negativity in a marriage is emotionally draining, and constant negativity and complaining on the part of the wife may make the husband simply give up trying to be positive. Whatever is needed must be requested in a polite and respectful manner.  

If the wife wants a heart to heart , first ask if it is a good time to talk.  Just say what you want and then shut up—don’t go on and on.   Shed your high and mighty attitude. Remember your husband does NOT have the same priorities as you. 

Let him do certain things on his own terms.  Men love the feeling involved in making his woman happy, and they become more giving and proactive in response to being appreciated.

The woman may perceive that thinking aloud as being a good thing at home. When you are a certified nag , even this is construed as nagging.  The poor guy will think that by thinking aloud his wife is giving him a list of problems that she expects him to fix,  and will get stressed out.  It  is better NOT to do that. 

Same way, It has been shown medically that during a woman's ovulation and menstruation, particular hormones are being released and these hormones have some irritable effect on the woman, which for some can be translated as nagging.  

A pressure cooker is often used as a metaphor for anger, where anger builds up inside a person like steam inside a pressure cooker. Using this analogy, there are three ways to deal with the buildup of steam. One way is to keep the pressure inside the cooker until it explodes.

A second way is reduce the pressure by periodically siphoning off some of the steam, as described using common terms such as “venting” and “blowing off steam.” 

The third (and best) way is to lower the flame and reduce the heat! Rather than stuff anger inside or expressing it outwardly, get rid of it. Stuffing anger harms the self. Expressing anger harms the self and others.

When angry count from 20 to 1 backwards.   Take a slow deep breath ( diaphragmatic ) and exhale even slower.  If cold water is near you drink a glass.

ASK YOURSELF A QUESTION ---  " WILL THIS ISSUE MATTER 6 MONTHS FROM NOW?"

Re-framing anger can help.    Because people don’t get angry at what they don’t care about, all anger is a statement of caring.

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself.  Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life.  Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective.

CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL HAS BUILT PALACES WITH BRICKS HIS DETRACTORS HAVE THROWN AT HIM.   

Yoga and meditation relieves stress, lowers blood pressure, and releases powerful endorphins that improve your mood. Connect regularly with friends and family. 

There is nothing more calming to your nervous system than communicating face to face with people who care about you. Your friends don’t have to be able to fix your stress; they just need to be good listeners.

Roll your shoulders if you are tensing them Focus on the counting backwards , to let your rational mind catch up with your feelings.  If you still feel out of control by the time you reach from 20 to 1, start counting again.

Knowing how to turn a bad situation into a good one can make the difference between success and failure, or happiness and unhappiness. If you perceive any negative situation in beneficial ways you'll feel more confident in dealing with it.

Reframing a bad situation will give you the power to overcome anger while boosting your morale- this will assist you to find the silver lining in every cloud.

Reframing is all about taking a negative situation and turning it around to make it positive.    Reframing let's you uncover the hidden positive aspects of a dark situation and  control over a difficult situation...  this helps you to overcome anger 

Reframing won't make a bad situation go away, but it will help you to survive a bad event 

Each problem is a hidden opportunity to reframe a situation  .  By solving one problem at a time, you'll gain confidence 

Reframing unfortunate circumstances will give you a sense of accomplishment.

THIS IS A RECORD IN MY LIFE .  

WHENEVER ANY MISFORTUNE HAPPENED TO ME, MY NEXT THOUGH WAS, WHAT AM I GAINING FROM THIS.    

I HAVE ALWAYS GAINED MULTIFOLD.    

WHEN A CRYING BOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR SUED ME FOR TELLING SOME BITTER TRUTHS ,  I KNEW I WILL BECOME MORE FAMOUS THAN HIM .   

ONE OF MY POLITICALLY  WELL CONNECTED FRIENDS IMPLORED - “ COUNTER SUE HIM—  I WILL DRAG THIS FELLOW  BY HIS NOSTRILS , TO CALICUT ON OUR TURF WE WILL RIDE ROUGH SHOD OVER HIM  ENMASSE USING MY MILITANT MEN ,  OUR WAY .   I PROMISE YOU.    FALSE SUING BY MISUSING POLICE AND JUDICIARY IS NOT SOME RICH MANs MONOPOLY ”.  

I SAID NO !   

I RUN A BLOGSITE , WHICH FIGHTS FOR TRUTH .  

I WILL ENSURE THAT THIS LAW SECTION  66A  CREATED BY THE ITALIAN WAITRESS ,  IS REPEALED --AS IT INFRINGES MY RIGHT AS AN INDIAN CITIZEN , TO A TRUTHFUL AND BONAFIDE OPINION,  AS PER THE CONSTITUTION – AND THAT IS WHAT I DID.

YESTERDAY TRUMP TORE UP PARIS COP21 AND THREW IT ON JEW ROTHSCHILDs FACE .    

ALL KNOW THE HUNDREDS OF MAN HOURS I SPENT IN RUNNING DOWN PARIS COP21 WHICH IS A TOOL FOR JEW ROTHSCHILD TO MAKE MONEY OUT OF THIN AIR.  

I LED THIS PLANETs  OPPOSITION SINGLE HANDEDLY ON THE INTERNET,  RAISING AWARENESS ABOUT CO2 BEING A GOOD GAS – AND POINTING MY FINGERS AT BAD GASES METHANE AND NITROUS OXIDE SHOVED UNDER THE KOSHER CARPET.    

I HAD 40 YEARS OF SAILING  EXPERIENCE  AROUND THE PLANET WHICH OTHERS DID NOT HAVE .

I  WON !

THERE IS GREAT POWER IN TRUTH  IT CAN BE HIDDEN ONLY FOR A WHILE , LIKE THE CLOUD COVERING THE BRILLIANT SUN.    THIS BLOGSITE DOES NOT CARE FOR POLITICAL CORRECTNESS .

Find the good in a bad event and turn it to your advantage by strategically reframing it along more hopeful lines.

Reframing involves identifying our unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with more positive or adaptive ones.

A limiting belief is a thought that prevents you from accepting your full potential.. When you counter a limiting belief by reframing thoughts based on them, you weaken the belief and reduce the chance of it getting in the way of your goals.

That inner voice of yours that expresses negativity is only doing so because it wants to help you in some way.

By finding the positive intentions behind your thoughts, you can work with your mind to find a positive reframe.

Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?” Now, instead of having a problem, you have a way to improve yourself. Every challenge is also an opportunity to learn, so take advantage of it.

 “ See we are not retreating…we’re just advancing in a different direction!”.    When the white invader got fucked he would beat the retreat with band and baaja.

Consistently applied, you will find yourself instinctively thinking positively in situations that you had previously had horrible thoughts of.

Many of the negative thought patterns you probably experience involve a cognitive distortion, or your mind putting “spin” on the events that happen to you.

Reframing involves changing your perspective on a given situation to give it a more positive or beneficial meaning to you. Look at it from another perspective and angle.. I have seen people looking totally devastated when they lose their job. 

Look at it another way—a better one is waiting for you just around the corner—go for it !

HAVE THE GAAND MEIN TATTI TO FIGHT BACK ,  WHEN YOU ARE UP SHIT CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE .

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2012/07/my-experience-at-mundra-port-adani-sez.html

I DARE ANY SHIP CAPTAIN ON THIS PLANET TO DECLARE A WHITE MANs LAB  ( NO 1 LAB ON THIS PLANET )  INCOMPETENT , USING  WHITE P& I LAWYERS

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2012/05/wall-wash-ptt-without-tears-chemical.html

Anger is the emotional opposite of guilt, which is activated when an individual perceives themselves as hurting an important other, which in turn leads to feelings of culpability and self-sacrifice

Remind yourself that the world is not after your ass-- you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life.  Every body has his own problems.   Remind yourself each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective.

Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger.

Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate..  Angry people make assumptions based on scanty information..   

Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

People who are easily angered generally have  a low tolerance for frustration.. It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized,. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!

Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic.

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better -and may actually make you feel worse.

Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

Very few of us have any difficulty recognizing that crying conveys hurt. But far fewer of us realize that getting mad—as a reaction to some perceived threat, insult, or injustice—is a desperate attempt to cover up that hurt.

Angry people seem to act first, and think later. Angry people often spout off hurtful comments to loved ones that they cannot later retract.

There are three possible approaches to deal with anger: (1) lump it (2) express it, and (3) get rid of it.

One standard approach to deal with anger is to hide it. This approach is endorsed by most societies. This approach can prompt people to stuff their anger deep inside and repress it.   This bottling stuffing anger inside can have negative health consequences, such as increasing the risk of illnesses such as heart disease. On the other hand, if people try to hide their anger, some anger might be diminished.

The second approach to deal with anger is to express it.. Catharsis theory fits in this second approach because it holds that expressing anger produces a healthy release of emotion and is therefore good for the psyche. Catharsis theory, which can be traced back through Sigmund Freud which is bullshit.  Venting harms the self and others. However, expressing anger has another drawback—it increases aggression against others.  One variation of venting is intense physical exercise. To use another analogy, venting anger is like using gasoline to put out a fire: It just feeds the flame. Venting keeps arousal levels high and keeps aggressive thoughts and angry feelings alive.

The third approach to deal with anger is to try to get rid of it.. The key thing is to stop feeling angry. All emotions, including anger, consist of bodily states (such as physiological arousal) and mental meanings. To get rid of anger, you can work on either of those. Anger can be reduced by getting rid of the arousal state, such as by relaxing (e.g.,  slow diaphragmatic breathing with slower exhale ) Mental tactics can also reduce anger, such as by reframing the problem or conflict. 

For example, rather than being angered by a friend’s rude comment, one might reinterpret the comment as a sign of the friend’s exhaustion or having a bad day , rather than as a vicious personal attack. Distracting oneself and turning one’s attention to other, more pleasant topics, also works because angry people tend to ruminate about what made them angry. For example, petting a puppy, watching a comedy,or performing a good deed can help, because those acts are incompatible with anger and therefore they make the angry state impossible to sustain.

Anger patrols our wellbeing for violations:  “That feels wrong!”  “That shouldn’t have happened!”  “That hurts!” “That’s not fair!”  “This is not what I expected!”  “I feel mistreated!”  “This is not what I deserve!”  “That ungrateful bitch has chewed my balls “

Emotional intelligence has three major elements: perceiving, understanding, and regulating emotions.  Perceiving emotions is your ability to recognize different feelings. When looking at someone’s face, do you know the difference between joy and contentment, anxiety and sadness, or surprise and contempt?  

Understanding emotions is how well you identify the causes and consequences of different feelings. For example, can you figure out what will make your colleagues frustrated versus angry? Frustration occurs when people are blocked from achieving a goal; anger is a response to being mistreated or wronged. Regulating emotions is your effectiveness in managing what you and others feel.

Recognize the emotion. Is it disgust? Probably not—that’s usually reserved for gross foods, sights, and smells. Is it hostility?  More likely: hostility is anger directed toward other people.

Regulate the emotion. Maybe this isn’t as terrible as it seems  .

AFTER A YEAR THIS IRRITANT WOULD NOT MATTER AT ALL IN YOUR LIFE.

Aggression is what needs to be managed, not feelings of anger.

The perceptual trigger for angry feelings is that one’s rights and interests were violated, which in turn activates a desire to restore equilibrium, either by asserting one’s position or extracting a cost on another by inflicting some form of punishment

Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.

Avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem.   Be respectful and specific. There are faces you need to see daily till you die or he dies. 

At sea, I was free of this. After a 4 month contract probably I would never see that face again. I did NOT need to be a hypocrite 

But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. When you are at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion, this is when it gets dangerous .

Unexpressed anger can create problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. 

People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

Anger like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Anger fuels the body’s “fight or flight” response so while you might feel that you just explode without warning, there are physical warning signs that your body is preparing to react. Recognizing these signs allows you to take steps to manage your anger before it boils over.

Note how anger feels in your body. Is your stomach knotted, your hands or jaw clenched, your muscles tense? Do you feel clammy or flushed? Is your heart pounding or are you breathing faster?

Recognize situations that trigger anger. Stressful events don’t excuse anger, but understanding how these events affect you can help you avoid unnecessary aggravation.

Anger, is a common clinical presentation that features across an array of different mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance use disorders and many more.

When we sense danger, there is an intuitive response of “fight or flight.” If we are afraid, then we want to take flight or flee the potential confrontation that is in front of us. If we are angry, then we want to get ready to defend or fight. These emotions are primal in nature and help guarantee our survival. 

There are two almond-shaped structures (amygdala) in our brains that are responsible to recognize danger and sound the alarm to your system. When danger is near, your central nervous system releases its physiological floodgates. This can often happen before the thinking part of your brain (prefrontal cortex) is even aware of the danger.

When you become angry, there are neurotransmitters (catecholamines) in your brain that release and cause a bolt of energy for about five to ten minutes. Your heart beats faster; your blood pressure rises, and your arms and legs get extra blood flow. 

You get a rush of adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol and enter an altered state of consciousness, ready to “fight.” You might even stop thinking (rationalizing). That is why you might not recall what you said or did when you were extremely angry.

Women often misdirect their anger toward a “safe” target (such as a spouse or child) instead of the primary source. Guilty feelings in women are often traced to misdirected anger. 

A unfaithful wife will hit her own child if he comes in between her and her clandestine lover at the moment her twat is lubricated and her nipples get erect

When we get angry, the heart rate, arterial tension and testosterone production increases, cortisol (the stress hormone) decreases, and the left hemisphere of the brain becomes more stimulated.

Depression and anger are influenced by an imbalance of hormones. This is a primary reason why women who are perimenopausal or menopausal, might have emotions of both depression and anger during this time of change.

Mood swings and irritability are two symptoms of fluctuations in hormone levels and occur during pregnancy, PMS, perimenopause and/or menopause. In your body, the emotion of anger creates pro-inflammatory molecules. Estrogen has some anti-inflammatory qualities, and progesterone has a calming effect. 

This explains why women might find themselves angrier when their progesterone-to-estrogen ratios become erratic during perimenopause. Some women experience cortisol dominance or testosterone imbalance and this contributes to anxiety and hostility.

Emotions more or less begin inside two almond-shaped structures in our brains which are called the amygdala. The amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for identifying threats to our well-being, and for sending out an alarm when threats are identified that results in us taking steps to protect ourselves. 

The amygdala is so efficient at warning us about threats, that it gets us reacting before the cortex (the part of the brain responsible for thought and judgment) is able to check on the reasonableness of our reaction. 

In other words, our brains are wired in such a way as to influence us to act before we can properly consider the consequences of our actions. This is not an excuse for behaving badly - people can and do control their aggressive impulses and you can too with some practice. An amgdala hijacking can feel like panic

During an overriding event, the amygdala goes into action without much regard for the consequences (since this area of the brain is not involved in judging, thinking,  or evaluating). This reactive incident has come to be known as an amygdala hijacking.

When the amygdala is hijacked, a flood of hormones are released that cause physical and emotional alarm.  A surge of energy follows, preparing the person for the fight or flight response.  The impact of this hormonal flush last for several minutes during which time the person is usually out of control and may say or do things he or she will later regret, when the thinking part of the brain reengages.

As you become angry your body's muscles tense up. Inside your brain, neurotransmitter chemicals known as catecholamines are released causing you to experience a burst of energy lasting up to several minutes. 

This burst of energy is behind the common angry desire to take immediate protective action. At the same time your heart rate accelerates, your blood pressure rises, and your rate of breathing increases. Your face may flush as increased blood flow enters your limbs and extremities in preparation for physical action. 

Your attention narrows and becomes locked onto the target of your anger. Soon you can pay attention to nothing else. In quick succession, additional brain neurotransmitters and hormones (among them adrenaline and noradrenaline) are released which trigger a lasting state of arousal. You're now ready to fight.

Although it is possible for your emotions to rage out of control, the prefrontal cortex of your brain, which is located just behind your forehead, can keep your emotions in proportion. If the amygdala handles emotion, the prefrontal cortex handles judgment. 

The left prefrontal cortex can switch off your emotions. It serves in an executive role to keep things under control. Getting control over your anger means learning ways to help your prefrontal cortex get the upper hand over your amygdala so that you have control over how you react to anger feelings. 

Among the many ways to make this happen are relaxation techniques (which reduce your arousal and decrease your amygdala activity) and the use of cognitive control techniques which help you practice using your judgment to override your emotional reactions.

 It is difficult to relax from an angry state, however. The adrenaline-caused arousal that occurs during anger lasts a very long time (many hours, sometimes days), and lowers our anger threshold, making it easier for us to get angry again later on. 

Though we do calm down, it takes a very long time for us to return to our resting state. During this slow cool-down period we are more likely to get very angry in response to minor irritations that normally would not bother us.

Hormones are type of chemical messengers that are responsible in regulating normal functions of the various tissues and organs inside the body. They travel through the bloodstream carrying sensory messages to the brain which gives out the command for organs to perform their daily function; thus, affecting the metabolism, growth and body development, sexual functions, as well as mood.

However, hormones need to be at a proper balance to maintain its functions.

Humans are comprised of a wide variety of hormones in the body which are mainly produced by a specialized group of cells known as Endocrine glands. However, there are some specific hormones that greatly affect human emotions. 

These hormones include Estrogen, Progesterone, Testosterone, Norepinephrine and Epinephrine, Serotonin, GABA, Dopamine, Acetylcholine, and Oxytocin. 

Estrogen is the primary sex hormone of women that is produced by the ovaries.

Progesterone is another hormone which serves as a key element to reproductive success in women. This however, has greater influence to brain while its effect to emotion depends on its balance with estrogen.

Norepinephrine is another type of hormone that greatly affects emotion. Also known as noradrenalin, this type of hormone functions like adrenaline which surge at times of panic and emergency.  

When a person is at jeopardy, this hormone works to provoke the stress hormone and cause the blood pressure to rise while leaving the body with high temperature, speedy metabolism, and faster heart rate which makes the person more alert and focused.  

On the other hand, Epinephrine is another type of adrenaline which also brings out the arousal of extreme emotions such as fear, anger, or amusement in reaction with the different instances a person is involved in. People commonly call emotions that are related to such as “adrenaline rush.”

 In case when there is low serotonin level, a person may become aggressive and impulsive and will have difficulty in coping up strong emotions such as depression and sensitivity.

Low levels of such can cause mood swings and cognitive problems. In this case, a person may feel depressed and worried.

Acetylcholine is a type of hormone that tempers more severe effects of adrenaline to humans. In this case, when a person is angry, Acetylcholine weakens the heart and stiffens arteries which trigger one to feel various other emotions such as depression and anxiety which then leads one to suddenly burst out into tears..

If Anxiety, Irritability or Anger has taken over your personality, you’re not alone.  Many women with hormone imbalances experience these feelings.  When Estrogen levels drop, or wildly fluctuate, the diameter of a woman’s blood vessels can change and that can result in the feeling of anxiety.  

When experiencing decreased levels of Progesterone, irritability often arises. Likewise, when a woman has Testosterone deficiency, anxiety is often the result along with fear and social withdrawal.  On the reverse side, an excess of Testosterone may result in intolerance to stress and a tendency to jump to anger.

When you get angry, adrenaline and other hormones are released into the bloodstream.

Anger may result in externalizing behaviors such as verbal arguments and tantrums and/or internalizing behaviors such as sulking or increased symptoms of depression.

Angry people may appear strong, willful, or certain, but be assured that beneath the veneer are fear and loneliness and insecurity and pain. Especially, there is pain. Whether they admit it or not, angry people are hurt people, and they have somehow come to believe that they can resolve their own pain by inflicting pain on others. 

Their reasoning is usually subconscious; nonetheless, each time anger is misapplied, it is a reflection of a deep wound that longs to be healed

Anger is like fire. It can be a useful tool, or it can be hideously destructive. 

I USED IT TO COOK.  ALMOST EVERYBODY BURNT THEIR HOMES

Rage can sometimes lead to a state of mind where the individual experiencing it believes, and often is capable of doing things that may normally seem physically impossible. Those experiencing rage usually feel the effects of high adrenaline levels in the body. 

This increase in adrenal output raises the physical strength and endurance levels of the person and sharpens their senses, while dulling the sensation of pain. High levels of adrenaline actually impair memory, Temporal perspective is also affected: people in a rage have described experiencing events in slow-motion. High levels of adrenaline actually impair memory. 

Time dilation occurs due to the individual becoming hyper aware of the hind brain (the seat of fight or flight). Rational thought and reasoning would inhibit an individual from acting rapidly upon impulse. 

Human perception of time is a social construct that required rational thought and reasoning to become what it is today. The concept of minutes, hours, days (etc.) are socially constructed ideas that we use to encapsulate experience

An older explanation of this "time dilation" effect is that instead of actually slowing our perception of time, high levels of adrenaline increase our ability to recall specific minutiae of an event after it occurs. 

Since humans gauge time based on the amount of things they can remember, high-adrenaline events such as those experienced during periods of rage seem to unfold more slowly.  It is safe to assume that there is truth in both theories.

A person in rage may also experience tunnel vision, muffled hearing, increased heart rate, and hyperventilation.  They often focus only on the source of their anger. The large amounts of adrenaline and oxygen in the bloodstream may cause a person's extremities to shake.

Rage is the full, uncontrolled, physical and psychological expression of the classic fight-or-flight response. Rage anger is extreme but not common for most people. It hijacks the mind and body. Rage reactions (or rage attacks) may include a sense of relief or even joy in the release of pent-up, painful feelings. 

When raging, control of one's social perception, judgment, speech, and motor behavior in seriously weakened. Rage attacks may followed by selective or partial amnesia for the facts of the event.

Unbridled anger, or rage, is frequently associated with hostile actions that prove ineffective in resolving conflict, inducing more frustration and ultimately resulting in harm. Such actions are frequently maladaptive because they serve to compromise personal and interpersonal functioning. 

Acting-out in rage can do irreparable damage to relationships, place lives and property in danger, and result in a host of unwanted outcomes. Too frequently, rage leads to unwanted outcomes, or even arrest and incarceration if domestic violence ensues.

Psychiatrists consider rage to be at one end of the spectrum of anger, and annoyance to be at the other side. Rage occurs when oxytocin, vasopressin, and corticotropin-releasing hormone are rapidly released from the hypothalamus. 

This results in the pituitary gland producing and releasing large amounts of the adrenocorticotropic hormone, which causes the adrenal cortex to release corticosteroids. This chain reaction occurs when faced with a threatening situation. The most frequent cause of anger is someone interfering with what we are intent on doing.

An irritable mood during PMS, are all common triggers for anger.

Anger by its nature needs a target to attack. And this target is often the person who we are in conflict with.

It would be helpful to assume that the basic intention of another is not malevolent, and shift the target of our anger from the “person” to the “things.”

Manipulative or instrumental anger is the intentional use of angry feelings or aggression in order to get one's way or to control a person or situation.   

Manipulative anger is dysfunctional when it is used as an emotional weapon or tool for resolving conflicts with family members, peers, and others. Ultimately, manipulative or instrumental anger is self-defeating as a long-term strategy.

However, angry conduct can also be extremely maladaptive, counterproductive, excessive, destructive, and abusive. Pathological anger is characterized by an inability to maintain behavioral control or to moderate the impulse to act-out.

Verbal abuse includes temper tantrums, verbal rage reactions, bullying, intimidation, and brow beating.

By contrast, people who are too afraid to assert themselves may repress angry feelings rather than think realistically about what they need to do for themselves. 

The repressed anger can build up and erupt against others or themselves at a later time.  Some of them get drunk and beat their wives, for what happened at the workplace .

KABIR BEDIs SON SIDDHARTH , A COMPUTER SCIENCE STUDENT AT CARNEGIE MELON USA COMMITTED SUICIDE AT THE AGE OF 26.   

HALF WITS CANNOT GET INTO THIS UNIVERSITY.

SIDDHARTH BEDI LEFT A SUICIDE LETTER FOR HIS MOTHER PROTIMA.   

AFTER READING THAT POIGNANT LETTER WHERE HE LEFT SOME DOLLARS FOR HIS FUNERAL ( AT THE END OF THE NOTE )  , I DID SOME DEEP THINKING.    IT WAS HEART WRENCHING TO SAY THE LEAST.

HIS SUICIDE WAS BLAMED ON SCHIZOPHRENIA.  

SORRY, IT WAS EXTREME ANGER DIRECTED INWARDS . 

HIS PARENTS WERE DIVORCED .   

HIS MOTHER PROTIMA ( A REBEL NYMPHOMANIAC ) HAD STREAKED NUDE AND SPLASHED HER PICTURES FOR THE WORLD TO SEE.   

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2000/20000205/windows/above.htm

WHEN HER TITS WERE FLATTENED AGAINST HER CHEST,  WHILE RUNNING,  SHE WAS UPSET AND HAD A RETAKE THE NEXT DAY WITH HER TITS BOUNCING UPWARDS.

The NUDE pictures are there in the post below—

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2013/11/altamas-kabir-worst-chief-justice-of.html

HIS FATHER WAS TAKING ON OTHER WOMEN AT A REGULAR RATE . 

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ?   

KABIR BEDI IS MARRIED FOUR TIMES AS OF TODAY –LEAVE ASIDE HIS DIME A DOZEN AFFAIRS .  

MIYA BIWI WERE COMPETING WITH EACH OTHER FOR SEX WITH OTHERS --

THEY NEVER THOUGHT OF THEIR DARLING CHILDREN, WHO GOT HURT 

Come adolescence, a major source of frustration and target of anger in the lives of many teenagers are their parents

Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger.

Anger begetting anger rarely serves parent and adolescent well because the interaction just becomes more injured and inflamed.

I ASK

HOW GOOD IS A PSYCHIATRIST WHO PRETENDS TO UNDERSTAND DEPRESSION

  

WHEN HE JUST CANNOT UNDERSTAND AN EMOTION CALLED ANGER ?

All psychiatrists argree that depression and suicide have to do with the individual feeling empty, hopeless and deeply despairing.   

None of them ever thought of examining the potent emotion called ANGER directed inwards.   

This shows that all psychiatric books written by mediocre minds , must be burnt , and this vital branch taken back to the drawing board. 

This post on ANGER intends to do exactly this 

Suicide is murder of the self and most of the time, it transmits permanent guilt to another person permanently who failed his expectations.  

This guilt deprives the recipient,  of REM sleep — the greatest retribution .

Psychiatrists must know that the act of suicide is an expression of anger towards a loved one. Mediocre minds just cannot accept the notion that a suicidal person is doing anything but suffering.  

Yes, they are hurt.   

However, there are times when this suffering can be used as an effective weapon to punish the person who caused it.  

Depression is often the result of feeling both hopeless and helpless. The depressed person feels like a victim. Therefore, they have a strong sense that they cannot influence the flow of their lives. There is no worse feeling than helplessness, which is why it results in depression and, sometimes, suicide.

An existential crisis has to do with the fact that we are all going to die one day. Often, this leads to the negative thought that life has no meaning because it ends in death and, therefore, what’s the point of living?

For someone who is truly depressed, the logical answer to this question is that life has no point. Well, if life has no meaning because I’m going to die someday, why not take command of my own fate and end it now, rather than sitting around, waiting around for the inevitable?

Defiance propelled by anger comes into play when the depressed, suicidal person insists that he is not afraid and will gladly commit suicide.

A MAN WHO IS CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE MUST TEACH SOMEONE , SOMETHING THAT HE IS GOOD AT   .   

TEACHING IS THE GREATEST ACT OF OPTIMISM

There are healthier ways to express anger at loved ones than to commit suicide.  You may commit suicide to teach your wife a lesson— but hey—  what about your children or your parents ? Why traumatize them for life.?

Depression afflicts millions of people in the industrialized world today. It impairs the digestive, nervous and circulatory functions in the body and depletes any remnant of joy and happiness. 

By itself, depression is not an independent emotion but is directly linked to repressed anger. People who are depressed need spirituality—NOT religion.  Religion makes it worse

Unless anger is expressed in a positive, active way, it accumulates in a passive way and becomes the ’emotion’ of depression. The effects can be devastating.

Stress and depression trigger the release of emergency hormones, causing brittle bones, infections and even cancer. Brittle bones are a major cause of death among women today. In many people, these stress hormones are no longer merely triggered occasionally but they are kept at constant ‘hyper-readiness’. 

When they are turned on and stay on for a long time, they destroy appetite, impair the immune system, block sleep, break down bone and shut down the processes that repair cell tissue. 

Chronically depressed women have high levels of stress hormones and enormous loss of bone density.

Levels of serotonin, an important neurotransmitter that is linked to the experience of pleasure, are 25% lower in patients who are at high risk of suicide.  Serotonin is particularly active in a part of the brain that controls inhibition. 

A lack of serotonin , a  neurotransmitter, or its related chemicals, lowers the amount of control a person has over his actions. This predisposes a person to act on suicidal thoughts.

Low brain serotonin made communications between specific brain regions of the emotional limbic system of the brain ( amygdala) and the frontal lobes weaker

When serotonin levels are low, it may be more difficult for the prefrontal cortex to control emotional responses to anger that are generated within the amygdala.

A PERSON WHO DOES SURYANAMASKAR WILL NEVER COMMIT SUICIDE

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2011/10/surya-namaskar-11000-year-old-vedic-sun.html

Almost of the Serotonin is generated in the human gut and NOT in the brain. Serotonin produced in the gut doesn’t cross the blood-brain barrier. But it affects the vagus nerve connection.

 Suryanamaskar stimulates the Vagus nerve

Same way a person with a healthy gut will NOT commit suicide.

70%  of IBS sufferers also have difficulties with depression or anxiety. Fixing the gut and the serotonin levels also impacts the other neurotransmitters like dopamine, GABA, norepinephrine etc..

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2017/03/ibs-irritable-bowel-syndrome-vagus.html

6200 years ago Ayurveda recorded that a healthy gut is imperative for mental health and to reduce anger .   Organic foods ( not GM foods/ processed foods / A1 milk) were used as preventive medicine 

Virgin coconut oil and fresh turmeric in your diet keeps you gut healthy. Serotonin very involved with mood, sleep (melatonin regulation), executive function, working memory, decision making and personality expression. 

Fix the gut and you fix the brain – without the need for pharmaceutical anti – depressants and all their side effects!

Good quality of REM sleep keeps suicide thoughts away

Suicide is the 7^th  leading cause of death in the west –they don’t report this.

Instead they get their MEDIA WHORES in India to do false propaganda that India is the SUICIDE CAPITAL of this planet.

Sorry, India has the least suicides on this planet by PERCENTAGE.  

We have a list of Indian media and perception molders who come on TV ,  who consistently give false reports about the watan. 

We know who these foreign payroll bastards are . When you abuse the watan on twitter/ facebook --we watch    

Severe retribution awaits these desh drohi bastards .

In the west suicide is aggravated by childhood experiences (unhappy homes )  that affect serotonin levels in the brain for a lifetime.  

People who commit suicide have a high rate of child abuse histories.  Parental deprivation at critical points in childhood  diminishes serotonin in an enduring way.

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2016/01/effective-parenting-indian-way-capt.html

Social conditioning has taught many of us to repress anger right from the beginning of life. When small children don’t get what they want, they throw tantrums and are often told off by an angry parent. 

All the small instances of withheld anger or frustration build up to a highly explosive inner conflict, creating a strong chemical distortion in the body. Every new instance that triggers an emotional explosion reveals the entire past of unresolved conflicts. 

LOVE IS CARING FOR EACH OTHER EVEN WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY . 

WHEN YOU GET ANGRY WITH YOUR OWN CHILD IT MEANS YOU CARE.     

NEVER ALLOW CARE TO METAMORPHOSE TO INDIFFERENCE WHICH IS ABUNDANT  IN DECADENT WESTERN HOMES— WHERE BOTH FATHER AND MOTHER ARE FUCKING OTHERS .   

THEY WERE FUCKING OTHERS EVEN BEFORE THEY GOT MARRIED.

Anger, TURNED INWARDS will land up at the door steps of  depression

Whenever you feel angry, you are never really angry with somebody else, but you are frustrated over your own inability to fulfill your desires, both past and present—not to talk about the hurt of dashed expectations .

LORD KRISHNA DEALT WITH ARJUNAs DEPRESSION--

BE IN THE MOMENT-- 

ACT WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS 

6000 YEARS AGO,  KRISHNA MADE ARJUNA DO SURYANAMASKAR EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE BATTLE AT DAWN. 

THE KAURAVAS WERE GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO WAIT FOR THE BELATED PANCHAJANYA SHANKH CALL ,  SIGNALING THE RESUMPTION OF  BATTLE 

The longer someone suffers from depression the more entrenched the condition can become, making treatment and recovery more difficult.  The most common picture most people have of depression is that someone suffering from depression is withdrawn, sad and passive.  

You might expect them to want to stay at home, avoid people and keep to themselves.  You may associate depression with suicidal thoughts or statements or a feeling that the person would be better off dead.  

The symptoms described above ARE often present in depression and are a common subtype but depression can appear in a variety of guises and can be perplexing to recognize. 

A very common way that depressed people behave is with ANGER.  This is  seen more commonly in men or teenagers but there are also depressed women who react primarily with anger.  A definition of depression is “anger turned inward.”  

Anger turned outward is just as common and often convinces family members that the person is not depressed. 

In depression, we lose the ability to enjoy life.   When good things happen, the depressed person may not be able to recognize it or fail to experience the positive aspects even though they know they “should.”  

Depression could cause one to feel irritable and antagonistic to the people around them that are enjoying life in a normal way. 

Often people who are depressed don’t understand why they feel so bad.   Sometimes there is NO reason.

All they need to do is to take a deep slow breath—  exhale , have a glass of cold water and ask themselves “ WHAT THE FUCK AM I WORRYING ABOUT “

BE IN THE MOMENT. 

THE PRESENT IS FOOD ON THE TABLE.

THE PAST IS SHIT IN THE SEPTIC TANK.

YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR FUTURE

Below: This shit has killed thousands of people--beware !

Teenagers commonly express depression through anger. 

Often professional help is sought when the teenager finally exclaims during an angry outburst, “I hate you and I wish I was dead!” 

For many parents , the shock of hearing such a statement makes them react in ways they would have never done before

 In  BREAKING BAD Walt’s son tells him on the phone “ I hate you, why don’t you die “

Walt’s heart wrenching gasp of “It can’t all be for nothing” was the sound of a man staring into the deep dark abyss. 

The milk had curdled, the glass has shattered .  

Time was ripe for mind boggling redemption on Walt’s own terms.

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2017/02/breaking-bad-tv-serial-review-where.html

This toxic mix of sadness and hostility is as confusing to the teenager as it is to the frustrated parent.  Parents and children are stuck living with each other for much longer than earlier generations.  

Confusion and uncertainty can also contribute to anger.  Teenagers who are relatively powerless may manage to contain their anger with friends and in school where the price of losing control is very high.  Parents then may be the only ones who have the dubious pleasure of experiencing their child’s anger. 

Modern culture still rewards men for machismo-showing courage and strength, not exhibiting weakness.  Men are still punished for being weak; labeled as sissy, feminine, gay, unmanly.  Depression is a form of ultimate weakness; an inability to cope with life.  

Anger in men is a much more acceptable emotion than sadness or vulnerability.  That pattern develops early in life when little boys are instructed not to cry but to “be a man.”  

Men in our society became adept at transforming their emotions into anger and aggression.  If you feel frightened, act tough.  If you feel sad, figure out whom to blame or punish.  Anger becomes a habitual way to deal with tender and disturbing feelings.  

“I don’t want to talk about it” is still, sadly a, far too common response in how American men respond to stress.  All this contributes to a dangerous breeding ground for depression and a depression that will end up being expressed as anger.

THIS POST IS NOW CONTINUED TO PART , 2 BELOW--

http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2017/06/anger-management-part-2-capt-ajit.html

CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL
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