Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I belong to the "Mallu Brigade".   I am a proud Malayali.

We in Kerala are proud of our ancient culture, our fertile brains , our social fabric,  and the beauty of our land. 

Kerala is known as God's own country.

Voted as MOST beautiful place on earth by most tourist magazines .  (National Geographic put Kerala in the top three).

Seeing is believing- punch in AMAZING KERALA- VADAKAYIL in google search.

Yet, we love a have a nice laugh at ourselves once in a while. 

Malayalis can be terribly corny too.


Pssssst-- In USA they get terribly embarrassed with pink colour, and then if you add Oklahoma , they fall into a dead faint! TEE HEEE!!

Did U know the word "MALAYALAM" spelt back and forward is the same.
That is why we can’t figure out if we are comin’ or going.

Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
He had a Mallu Baby Sitter who always used to Say "KEEP QUWAIT", "KEEP QUWAIT"

Where did the Malayalee study?

Why did he go to Rome?
TO hear POPE Music

What does a Malayalee do when he has to stand for the election in Delhi?
He changes his name Madhavan to M.A. DHAWAN.

What does he do when he joins the army?
His name changes from Kandoth Kunhiraman to Gen Candeth.

How does a Malayalee spell ‘Malayalam’?

Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don’t werk hard?

Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.

Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle and aundy in the Gelff.

Why do Malayali’s go to the Gelff?
To yearn menney.

What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

What is a Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yay.

Why did his wife divorce him?
Because he was louwing another woman.

What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto.

Who is a Malayali’s famous yeactor end yaectress?
Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.

Why is Kerala the most highly literate state in India?
Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapals from Kerala.

Why are Arab countries looking only for Keralites?
They are ready to do yennything for menney.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: You should at least send this mail to:
10 Malayalis and you will receive cokknut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,

Send this to 100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the toddy shop, with additional incentive of a whole month’s supply of Calicut black halwa and Chandappan bennena chips free.

What is your wife’s name? 
Sujitra ( Hope my wife does NOT see this, for she will surely kick mE ass )

A true Mallu will say for 'My goggles are broken" -- " My googles are broaken"

Like how a true Punjabi , like Manmohand Singh will say for " It gives me great pleasure to have a moment of leisure " -- " It gives me great pleayyure to have a moment of leiyyure"

Here is a hilarious conversation between a Mallu CD dealer and a pissed off , squeamish British guy, who finds that a CD he bought does NOT work , and he wants his precious quid back EL PRONTO- within 5 minutes, or else- --  all Mallus will enjoy it 100% -- ( some unadulterated frustrated muttering in lingo -- )

The above picture is my home Akash Ganga ( Milky Way ) in Calicut, Kerala.

In the BBC documentary below, Aryabhatta is mentioned as 600 AD, wwhile actually it is 2700 BC. Newton and Liebniz stole Calculus from a published text in Malayalam written by Madhavan, two centuries before.



  1. Did U know the word "MALAYALAM" spelt back and forward is the same.
    That is why we can’t figure out if we are comin’ or going.

    This one was really funny~
    Great videos sir, they were fun.

  2. I was in Cochin University for Naval Architecture degree, and I can speak malayalam to a respectable level, I can even read malayalam fairly. I remember some of the Palakkad guys with Tamil Ancenstory making fun of the mallus by saying "God's own country, Devil's Own People".

  3. hi,

    all the palakkad tamils are brahmins -- the SESHAN types.

    seshan wanted to be president of india, and the whole country as one told him to FO -- he did not find a single taker.

    on the presidents chair, the last thing you want is an OPPORTUNIST.

    the pallakad iyers migrated from tamilnadu, to kerala.

    a kerala palakkad king wanted to marry an attractive lower caste woman he was in love with , which the kerala namboodidri brahmins did not like, as they had their own rigid code -- set up by maharishi Parashurama, 6000 years ago, as he was a kshatriya baiter.

    the tamil brahmin iyers were quick to tell the king, banish all namboodiris from palakkad and we will conduct your marriage ceremony.

    they have opportunism programmed in their DNA.

    much more than the sindhis who migrated to india from pakistan--and became opportunists to survive and feed their family.

    so if you see a tamil palakkad iyer, a sindhi and a snake , you are supposed to do the honours in the same series. kill the snake last.

    these palakkad tamil brahmins, brainwashed all mallus, that they are more brainy -- and it was generally accepted, for they scored well academically.

    but then one fine day, after india became independent nehru started IIT institutions --

    to pass this IIT entrance exam, you need IQ and fertile brains.

    getting up at 4 am as the tamil iyers do , mutting gayatri mantra and studying 20 hours a day , makes zilch difference.

    to the surprise of the mallus, they soon found that they pass IIT cerebral exams, easily--while a tamil palakkad iyer can only pass it in his elusive dreams.

    since then the stock and worth of palakkad tamil iyers have dipped, in the eyes of a mallu.

    cant blame them, for being bitten by the BITTER TRUTH BUG.

    capt ajit vadakayil

  4. I loved this comment, Capt!
    (BTW, I am a PALAKKAD MALLU! :) )

  5. A few thoughts,

    1) Mallus are intelligent no doubt, I believe it's because they are specially blessed by Swami Iyyappa, the God of intelligence. Iyyappa Swami if devotedly worshipped, overcomes the dullness created by Shani. If one compares the rituals associated with Iyyappa worship one would realize that they are a lot similar to Shani-preeti rituals in Northern India.

    2) another reason behind the intelligence of Mallus seem to be the habit of fish-eating, thanks to the huge number of rivers plying across Kerala. (Although over the ages, many of these rivers exist only by name). Still the fact that there's a long coastline ensures ample fish supply and it's well known that FISH is a good supplier of brain food

    3) Mallus also eat somewhat less rice than other South indian communities, and as rice takes a long time to digest, the difference can be seen. Although in terms of hard labour, mallus seem to be behind other South indians like Tamils, Andhraites etc who eat plenty of rice.

    4) Palakkad Iyers still retain a significant amount of respect in Kerala. Popular movies like Iyer the Great, SethuramaIyer Series, have won a lot of support at Box office, not only for their enthralling storyline, but also in uniquely portraying iyer habits in a sympathetic light.

    5) The quote about seeing a tamil palakkad iyer, a sindhi and a snake etc - has several regional variations, probably depending on which one is the most hated community in each region in Kerala. I have heard several versions of it, for example, one in which the tamil iyer is replaced by a Nasrani when it's stated in parts of Central kerala, and one in which it's applied to Travancore Nairs, by none other than Nairs belonging to Northern Kerala. The rivalry between these two Nair communities is well known. Similarly I've seen it mentioned of a few other communities.

  6. kap, i see a regional infighting between indian tribal/etchnic groups in this post. i'm minding my own business, but, IMO, your country will be more powerful when the myriads of dialects/etchnic groups will be united. therefore, i also dedicate to you and all the people of india, the song of john lennon; imagine.

    pls see your post: give peace a chance. sorry for the interference.

    1. hi pc,

      if india can be ruled by a incorruptible STRONG MAN ( like a narendra modi ) -- we can overtake USA in just 20 years as world's No1 super power.

      and USA knows it too.

      but every religion, every sect, every caste has been infiltrated by big brother's warriors.

      we all are pulling in different directions right now -- as money and politics divide .

      capt ajit vadakayil

  7. Hi Captain,

    Can you write a blog about the kerala roots of mathematician aryabhatta, some of my friends say that he is a namboothiri brahmins called aryan bhattatiripad

  8. Captain isn't malayalam a sanskritised version of tamil?. I know both languages (some times i don't know whether my thought process is in malayalam or tamil). The standard form of all Indian languages except tamil and urdu means nothing but sanskritisation . it is the same with sinhala. Malayalis has as much claims to ancient tamil texts as modern tamilians and Ancient Tamizh is as much different from modern tamil as tamil is to malayalam. (a semi literate tamilian will not understand thirukkural without any explanation of the verses)

    1. hi ak,

      tamil iyers sucked up to the british and got plum admin posts.
      kerala namboodiris cared two hoots for the british.

      as punishment malayalam was made to be the tape worm in the stomach of tamil.

      it worked till the internet age.

      no more.

      granthi pili was used in ancient times when namboodiris wrote sanskrit. tamils have tried to claim that this is their script .

      oh yeah ?

      punch into google search-

      tamil siddha pride and agama pride has screwed Hinduism !

      capt ajit vadakayil

    2. Indeed siddha pride is causing damage to Hinduism. but the irony is that the siddas are hard core followers of Lord shiva. Thirumular's 'thiru manthiram,' as far as i have read, advocate the advaitha philosophy . my personal favorite is the verse "aasayai arumin aasayai arumin eesanood aakilum aasayai arumin" . malayalis too can understand the meaning.
      Sir I request you to write a post on Aagamam and siddhars.Some christians are claiming that thiruvalluvar was christian a claim which cause even christians to burst into laughter. but clearly thirukkural contains numerous hindhu philosophy like oozh(vidhi) and no scope for hindhu bashing which suggests that it has nill chances to be fabricated by christian invaders although it is has been an recent revelation to tamils .none were aware of thirukkural 200 years ago. karunanidhi like to believe it is a buddhist or jain text. It has got the status of holy book of tamils and thiru valluvar its prophet. An additional information their is a place called thirunainarkurichi near my house where according to some phds it was the place where thiruvalluvar was born. this makes him belong to kerala.

  9. Hi Captain , that was a hilarious article. Let me start by saying that I am a big fan of yours. Reasons .. 1. You were a ship captain 2. You are From calicut. 3. You are a kv product. 4. The most important reason that your quest to find truth is really awesome.

    about me, I am sumesh, from palakkad, working in coimbatore. My father was in Indian navy, did schooling from kv and ended up as a marketing professional with an IT firm.

    I have been interested in many aspects of Indian history and vedantha practiced by ancient Indians. And due to that interest I have done extensive reading on blogs catering to such topics.. I have utmost respect for bloggers like Ramani and London vasudevan who like you dwell on the ancient sciences and history of our great sub continent. But I have found them using certain topics to write their articles. For example most of London swaminathans articles are based on Tamil sangham literature. However your articles are based on references from various sources, which is really great.

    I have few questions that I have tried to find answers on, but been,unsuccessful due to non availability of references and resources and also time constraints.. Here I truly believe that you can give me guidence.. I belong to a caste known as pisharody or sharody. I would like to dig up on origins of my cast. The information available in wiki and pisharody samajam sites are not valid ( I think so) .. It would be great if you could let me know if there are any books that I could refer and understand about the origin, characteristics and rituals of I have always felt that many malayalis were jains before and were converted to Hinduism by Hindu extremists.

    I sincerely hope that you could spare some time for my request.. Thank once again for enlightening us lovers of truth.

    Sumesh Sudhakaran

    1. hi s,

      wikipedia LIES along with ROTHSCHILD HISTORIANS that Pisharodyas have gotra from a FAKE Narayana DASA

      Pisharody is a sub-caste of the Ambalavasi caste-- who worked in ancient temples . They all depended on the largesse of Kerala Namboodiris.

      and sorry, there was NO need for hindusim to convert Jains-- for Jainism started from the 24th Thirthankara -- Mahavira , who was just a reformer.

      Jain history is part of Sanatana Dharma.

      the white invader gave the bullshit story of how great Hindu kings converted from BAAAAD Hinduism to GOOOOD Buddhism / Jainism to wedge apart Hinduism.

      capt ajit vadakayil

    2. Jainism is a part of Sanatan Dharma. They have more to do with Sankhya vedant.

  10. Hi sir,I am a tamilian,I appreciate your science of Hinduism and I myself have learnt the greatness and the profound nature of our religion from your webpage....But how can you tell Tamil siddhas and agamas have screwed the religions pride??????1)Chidambaram temple which is in Tamil Nadu,attracts cosmic rays and energies in a very different level which is constructed as per the Tamil agama way.
    2)siddhar bogar have constructed a navapashanam statue of lord murugan at Palani which is very ancient and there are many navapashanam Shiva linga's in Tamil Nadu consecrated by siddhars
    3)the great siddhar thirumoolar in his thirumandiram has
    Explained about sub-atomic particles and has explained about Higgs boson's god particle and the size of it.

  11. Hi Captain,
    You have never commented about many mallu castes .

    There is a Gupthan caste in Palakkad Kerala. Are they similar to the Gupta Baniya caste of North India ??

    There is a Pushpaka Bhramin apart from Namboodiri , Iyer and Embrandiri / potty in Kerala ??
    What is their history ??

    Are Pattali people of Kerala same as Pattali ppl of TN. In TN there is a
    party called Pattali Makkal Katchi.

    Kindly share knowledge about the 3 castes of Kerala I asked about.


  12. Hi Captain,
    You have never commented about many mallu castes .

    There is a Gupthan caste in Palakkad Kerala. Are they similar to the Gupta Baniya caste of North India ??

    There is a Pushpaka Bhramin apart from Namboodiri , Iyer and Embrandiri / potty in Kerala ??
    What is their history ??

    Are Pattali people of Kerala same as Pattali ppl of TN. In TN there is a
    party called Pattali Makkal Katchi.

    Kindly share knowledge about the 3 castes of Kerala I asked about.


    1. What is this captain you are not replying to my question but are approving it.

      Pls Reply.