MARY MARY QUITE CONTRARY, THE BLOODY MARY-- CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL

BLOODY MARY-  

Below: Queen Mary 1 of England 

when i was 4 years old at lower kindergarten  , i heard a poem getting recited by my class mate -- whose grasp of English was purely pedestrian.


it sounded something like this--


MARIE MAARIE QUIKKODARRIE
WHO DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW
SHILVA BELLS AND KOKKLE SHELLS
AND PECCHYMAIDS ALL IN A ROW


It took another two years for me to find out , the nursery rhyme ran as follows-

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockle shells,

And pretty maids all in a row.

and i asked my teacher ( a kind Scottish nun ) , what does it mean?

So she went on and on, about the sweet princess of the manor, standing daintily in her garden , surrounded by flowers and sweet smelling herbs--about tiny silver bells tinkling magically in the zephyr breeze, and the garden paths lines with snow white cockle shells, and her pretty maids dressed in fine satin and lace gowns, standing beside her, under the azure skies, butterflies dancing around them---.

the truth is a lot murkier--

this song is about the common man of England making fun of their own diabolical queen whom they loathed and despised.

Mary Tudor, or “Bloody Mary” as she came to be known, was the eldest daughter of king Henry VIII and his first wife, Catherine of Aragon; becoming Queen of England in 1553.

She inherited congenital syphilis from her father and was sickly, suffering from frequent migraines and bald.  Henry VIII doted on his daughter and would boast in company, "This girl never cries".


She was a cruel human being.

Her father Henry VIII took on 6 wives--and since divorce was NOT allowed by the Pope and Roman Catholic laws - he made the new Protestant order -- and declared himself head of the Church of England, which still exists.

She inherited the throne from her step brother Edward VI who ruled England for 6 years and died at the age of 15--again having inherited congenital syphilis from his father. 


As soon as she became queen she imprisoned (in the dark tower of London)  her half sister Elizabeth I for a year --the daughter of Anne Boleyn -- who became queen after her death.

Henry VIII is the King who beheaded his 3rd wife Anne Boleyn, on trumped up false charges of incest  , ( she had made the mistake of saying in public that he was NOT great in bed.)


She restored England crown from Protestant faith back into the fold of the Pope and Roman Catholicism ( which on hear death her half sister Elizabeth again reversed--as the people were sick and tired of the Pope and his mean ways ).


Mary's husband Phillip ( Spanish ) was NOT physically attracted to her --and she was always frustrated .


Before she died at the age of 42-- she burned at the stake  and chopped the heads of more than 300 people--earning her the nick name BLOODY MARY.  The popular drink of the Russians( vodka + Tomato juice + salt/ pepper) -- is named after her.

so--

quite contrary alluded to her unsuccessful attempt to reverse ecclesiastical changes effected by her father Henry VIII and her brother Edward VI.

the growing garden alluded to the increasing number of tombstones of Protestant martyrs in the grave yard.

silver bells were thumbscrews to squeeze blood out of the nipples

cockle shells were genital ball crushers

pretty maids in a row, alluded to guillotines nick named at " maiden " lining London

Mary died in 1558 , and the whole of England rejoiced. They had enough of this queen and her faked pregnancies.  

She was hell bent on pulling the wool over the eyes of her subjects , that she possessed a nursery, not a play pen-- and that here husband loved her as a person and had sex with her.


They welcomed Elizabeth I Mary's half sister wholesale --who ruled for a long time till her death in 1603 as a virgin , as she knew she was infertile ( she was bald too with  a small pox scarred face smoothened with cosmetics , though her portraits were of a beautiful lady ).


The world's first drug runner is Queen Elizabeth1, who in 1606 gave orders to British East India company, to start the opium cultivation in Bengal and Bihar in India, to increase the wealth of England.. Her drug cartel agent in India was David Sassoon.

She was also the first African Slave trader who encouraged her pet  slave trader Jack Hawkins . She knighted both Jack Hawkins and the son of David , Albert Sassoon for toeing her line. Sir Albert Sassoon married Aline Caroline Rothschild --the first drug cartel family.


Queen Elizabeth 1 , by her own admission bathed only 4 times in a year " whether I needed it or not!" ( while actually she bathed only twice as she did NOT want to remove the white lead compound filling up the small pox pits on her face).  

But she had more than 2000 of those funny extravagant dresses with hilarious frilled collars.  The whole idea was to distract attention from her repulsive ugliness--one way or the other-- including a jarring red coloured wig.  

She filled up the hideous deep pox pits on her face, using a compound including white lead, which ate away her skin.  She died a virgin ,and hence is called the "Virgin Queen". There was no way even a ugly common man would have been sexually aroused by her.

Elizabeth 1 proved to be more diabolical than her half sister , Bloody Mary. She had Mary Stuart, the Queen of Scots executed. Though she signed her death warrant, Elizabeth 1 ,did NOT want it to be known to the public.

The Queen of Scots Mary Stuart , was a very pretty, sensuous, and tall woman, and it is speculated, that it was sheer female jealously , which made Elizabeth imprison her for 19 years, and then execute her ( not fear of losing her throne to her, as many considered that she was the true heir ) . 

She was publicly disrobed in disgrace, by several men, the executioner took three strokes with his axe to behead her, with lot of time in between the strokes. Then her decapitated head was held  high by the auburn hair, to show the public, with the executioner shouting , as he was told to " God, save the Queen". .

The head fell down , and it turned out to be a wig, with very short grey hair underneath, -- the final cruel blow, even after death..- All engineered by bald and pox scarred faced Elizabeth 1.

And then the most bizarre thing was her tiny dog, kept hidden under her petty coat ( insinuating that this poor dog was always at her crotch )  , was let loose, totally covered in blood- with the desperate creature yelping most pitiably, running helter skelter.

King Henry VIII died in 1547 and spent his last few days in bed, too weak to even to lift move his fingers. His sick room was filled with a nauseating, terrible stench .  Legend has it that sometime during the night the coffin burst open and when the sentries found him, dogs were licking his gangrene laden remains. 


A disgusted Frair Peto had once prophesied that "...dogs will lick his bones as they did Ahab's." and this legend appeared to fulfil this prophecy. 

His penchant for rampant sex-- terminated his bloodline-- and the English crown passed over to the King of Scotland James VI.

BY THE WAY-- NOBODY IN RUSSIA , AT LEAST IN PUBLIC BARS, DRINKS BLOODY MARY ANY MORE-- ALL OF THEM HAVE GRADUATED TO VODKA AND COALA ( COCA-COLA !)

CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL

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