I belong to the "Mallu Brigade". I am a proud Malayali.
We in Kerala are proud of our ancient culture, our fertile brains , our social fabric, and the beauty of our land.
Kerala is known as God's own country.
Voted as MOST beautiful place on earth by most tourist magazines . (National Geographic put Kerala in the top three).
Seeing is believing- punch in AMAZING KERALA- VADAKAYIL in google search.
Yet, we love a have a nice laugh at ourselves once in a while.
Malayalis can be terribly corny too.
ENJOY!
Pssssst-- In USA they get terribly embarrassed with pink colour, and then if you add Oklahoma , they fall into a dead faint! TEE HEEE!!
Did U know the word "MALAYALAM" spelt back and forward is the same.
That is why we can’t figure out if we are comin’ or going.
Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
He had a Mallu Baby Sitter who always used to Say "KEEP QUWAIT", "KEEP QUWAIT"
Where did the Malayalee study?
In the KOLLAGE.
Why did he go to Rome?
TO hear POPE Music
What does a Malayalee do when he has to stand for the election in Delhi?
He changes his name Madhavan to M.A. DHAWAN.
That is why we can’t figure out if we are comin’ or going.
Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
He had a Mallu Baby Sitter who always used to Say "KEEP QUWAIT", "KEEP QUWAIT"
Where did the Malayalee study?
In the KOLLAGE.
Why did he go to Rome?
TO hear POPE Music
What does a Malayalee do when he has to stand for the election in Delhi?
He changes his name Madhavan to M.A. DHAWAN.
What does he do when he joins the army?
His name changes from Kandoth Kunhiraman to Gen Candeth.
How does a Malayalee spell ‘Malayalam’?
YAMM – YAY – YELL – YAY – WHY – YAY – YELL – YAY – YUM.
How does a Malayalee spell ‘Malayalam’?
YAMM – YAY – YELL – YAY – WHY – YAY – YELL – YAY – YUM.
Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don’t werk hard?
Kerala.
Kerala.
Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.
Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle and aundy in the Gelff.
To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle and aundy in the Gelff.
Why do Malayali’s go to the Gelff?
To yearn menney.
To yearn menney.
What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
What is a Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yay.
Yem Bee Yay.
Why did his wife divorce him?
Because he was louwing another woman.
Because he was louwing another woman.
What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto.
An Oto.
Who is a Malayali’s famous yeactor end yaectress?
Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
Why is Kerala the most highly literate state in India?
Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapals from Kerala.
Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapals from Kerala.
Why are Arab countries looking only for Keralites?
They are ready to do yennything for menney.
They are ready to do yennything for menney.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: You should at least send this mail to:
10 Malayalis and you will receive cokknut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,
Send this to 100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the toddy shop, with additional incentive of a whole month’s supply of Calicut black halwa and Chandappan bennena chips free.
10 Malayalis and you will receive cokknut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,
Send this to 100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the toddy shop, with additional incentive of a whole month’s supply of Calicut black halwa and Chandappan bennena chips free.
What is your wife’s name?
Sujitra ( Hope my wife does NOT see this, for she will surely kick mE ass )
A true Mallu will say for 'My goggles are broken" -- " My googles are broaken"
Like how a true Punjabi , like Manmohand Singh will say for " It gives me great pleasure to have a moment of leisure " -- " It gives me great pleayyure to have a moment of leiyyure"
Here is a hilarious conversation between a Mallu CD dealer and a pissed off , squeamish British guy, who finds that a CD he bought does NOT work , and he wants his precious quid back EL PRONTO- within 5 minutes, or else- -- all Mallus will enjoy it 100% -- ( some unadulterated frustrated muttering in lingo -- )
The above picture is my home Akash Ganga ( Milky Way ) in Calicut, Kerala.
In the BBC documentary below, Aryabhatta is mentioned as 600 AD, wwhile actually it is 2700 BC. Newton and Liebniz stole Calculus from a published text in Malayalam written by Madhavan, two centuries before.
CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL
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Did U know the word "MALAYALAM" spelt back and forward is the same.
ReplyDeleteThat is why we can’t figure out if we are comin’ or going.
This one was really funny~
Great videos sir, they were fun.
I was in Cochin University for Naval Architecture degree, and I can speak malayalam to a respectable level, I can even read malayalam fairly. I remember some of the Palakkad guys with Tamil Ancenstory making fun of the mallus by saying "God's own country, Devil's Own People".
ReplyDeletehi,
ReplyDeleteall the palakkad tamils are brahmins -- the SESHAN types.
seshan wanted to be president of india, and the whole country as one told him to FO -- he did not find a single taker.
on the presidents chair, the last thing you want is an OPPORTUNIST.
the pallakad iyers migrated from tamilnadu, to kerala.
a kerala palakkad king wanted to marry an attractive lower caste woman he was in love with , which the kerala namboodidri brahmins did not like, as they had their own rigid code -- set up by maharishi Parashurama, 6000 years ago, as he was a kshatriya baiter.
the tamil brahmin iyers were quick to tell the king, banish all namboodiris from palakkad and we will conduct your marriage ceremony.
they have opportunism programmed in their DNA.
much more than the sindhis who migrated to india from pakistan--and became opportunists to survive and feed their family.
so if you see a tamil palakkad iyer, a sindhi and a snake , you are supposed to do the honours in the same series. kill the snake last.
these palakkad tamil brahmins, brainwashed all mallus, that they are more brainy -- and it was generally accepted, for they scored well academically.
but then one fine day, after india became independent nehru started IIT institutions --
to pass this IIT entrance exam, you need IQ and fertile brains.
getting up at 4 am as the tamil iyers do , mutting gayatri mantra and studying 20 hours a day , makes zilch difference.
to the surprise of the mallus, they soon found that they pass IIT cerebral exams, easily--while a tamil palakkad iyer can only pass it in his elusive dreams.
since then the stock and worth of palakkad tamil iyers have dipped, in the eyes of a mallu.
cant blame them, for being bitten by the BITTER TRUTH BUG.
capt ajit vadakayil
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I loved this comment, Capt!
ReplyDelete(BTW, I am a PALAKKAD MALLU! :) )
Suma
A few thoughts,
ReplyDelete1) Mallus are intelligent no doubt, I believe it's because they are specially blessed by Swami Iyyappa, the God of intelligence. Iyyappa Swami if devotedly worshipped, overcomes the dullness created by Shani. If one compares the rituals associated with Iyyappa worship one would realize that they are a lot similar to Shani-preeti rituals in Northern India.
2) another reason behind the intelligence of Mallus seem to be the habit of fish-eating, thanks to the huge number of rivers plying across Kerala. (Although over the ages, many of these rivers exist only by name). Still the fact that there's a long coastline ensures ample fish supply and it's well known that FISH is a good supplier of brain food
3) Mallus also eat somewhat less rice than other South indian communities, and as rice takes a long time to digest, the difference can be seen. Although in terms of hard labour, mallus seem to be behind other South indians like Tamils, Andhraites etc who eat plenty of rice.
4) Palakkad Iyers still retain a significant amount of respect in Kerala. Popular movies like Iyer the Great, SethuramaIyer Series, have won a lot of support at Box office, not only for their enthralling storyline, but also in uniquely portraying iyer habits in a sympathetic light.
5) The quote about seeing a tamil palakkad iyer, a sindhi and a snake etc - has several regional variations, probably depending on which one is the most hated community in each region in Kerala. I have heard several versions of it, for example, one in which the tamil iyer is replaced by a Nasrani when it's stated in parts of Central kerala, and one in which it's applied to Travancore Nairs, by none other than Nairs belonging to Northern Kerala. The rivalry between these two Nair communities is well known. Similarly I've seen it mentioned of a few other communities.