Sunday, February 27, 2011

WORD FOR EVERY OCCASION -- CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL


FUCK-


I remember, when i was a young boy of 11 years , my classmate called another guy, "a fucking Cu#t" , and he was literally in hot waters.

After a complaint by the aggrieved to the teacher, the matter went up to the principal.

90% of pupils in the class ( including "yours truly" ) did NOT even know the meaning of the word " fuck",

-- nor

HOW IT IS DONE --  OR WHAT IS THE AFTER EFFECT..

Our School was a prim and propah one. Finally the culprit got away, by apologising in front of his parents and the principal.

Today you find the word FUCK in most of the dictionaries and thesaurus's , except a few prudish UK English ones.

There is hardly a Hollywood movie or a TV English serial without using this universal word.

Let me list down a few " non -sexual" FUCK exclamations used at sea-- hardly anybody takes offence. It is just part of a good conversation.

It is a universal word to express greetings, resignation, confusion, despair, denial, apathy, anxiety, fraud, aggression, panic, disbelief, trouble, difficulty, pleasure, displeasure, loss, disgust, suspicion, ignorance, request, surprise, perplexity, a mere statement of fact, or whatever!


Holy fuck! You guys rock! 


What the fuck!
We had a good fuckin’ time ashore , right?
That was fucking amazing
Now that this new Chief Officer has come, we are all fucked
Who the fuck was that? 
Stop fucking around!
I fucking love this cabin!
I guess I'm really fucked now!
Fuck, that really hurt! 
Thats fuckin’ awesome, dude !
I don't understand anything about this fucking thing
What the fuck do you want
He fucks up everything, royally!
Holy fuck!  did you see that?
What's fucking wrong, you are sick ?
Why the fuck did you throw my old shoes away ?
That bitch at that bar corner looks  fuckin’ scary!
We have fucked food for dinner today!
Don’t fuck the system!
Fuck your rights!
My watch is fucked!
Fuck! I hit my head
Fucks sake , he pisses me off daily!
Fuck, we are gonna collide now!
Don’t fuck with me dude!
Holy fuckin’ shit, they are trying to kill us
That blonde canal inspector sitting in the CCR eminently fuckable
I don’t fuckin’ wanna know, OK?
I give a flying fuck!
Fuck!, I will be late again for my watch
How the fuck are you maan?
Captain fucked me today!
Fuck it maan, relax!
Fuck me? Fuck you too!
I don’t understand what is fucking goin’ on!
Fucked royally again, as usual !
I couldn’t  fucking be more happier!
What the fuck is goin’ on?
Where the fuck are we?
Un -fuckin’ -believable
Up your fuckin’ ass, dude!
I didn’t fucking do it , ok!
I know fuck about all this!
Its gonna explode, lets get the fuck outa here!
Fuck off!
You are late , its four- fuckin’ -thirty!
How did I wind up with this fucking job?
Fucked if I know !
What the fuck are your doin’? coming ashore?
He does fuck all around here!
Who the fuck are you?
How the fuck are you, dude?
Guess, its gonna be a fucked up day
Swaraj, is your fuckin’ birth right!
Boy, heads are fuckin’ gonna roll today!
Let the fuckin’ steward do the cleaning!
I do all the fuckin’ work around here!
You talk fucking too much!
AW! Fuck it man!
I don’t understand the fucking question
Hold on , while I shut up that noisy fuck  on VHF
What the fuck was all that crap about?
Get that little creepy fucker off my ship!
Fuck!  Fuuckk!!  Ffuuucckkk !!! ( Captain after colliding with 3 consecutive ships at Singapore anchorage )
Damn, the fuck got away!
You fuck-head, you let me down again!
Oprah -fuckin’- Winfrey is on TV!
The log shows just 80 fucking miles.
Fuck! cant stand his terrible stinking BO


Now let me end with a sexual joke! After all we must NOT forget the actual meaning.

a village bumpkin was told by his mother to sell their only duck as there was no bread in the house--

while he was going skippety skip to the fair-- he saw a fair girl giving him the glad eye--

she looked at this bulging crotch and said-- what a nice duck!

he stopped and said-- "if mE can fuck you, Ya can take this duck"

they fucked-- he gave her the duck-- the girl wanted an encore-- so she said

"if you fuck me once more, i'll give you , your duck back"

while he was fucking her again-- the duck wandered off and got run over by a truck-

seeing him despondant, she said —“ ok, i'll give you twenty dollars for the 2nd fuck"

the bumpkin goes home hoppety hop-- his mother sees him with the dead duck under his arm

she cried " what ever happened !!"?

the bumpkin says --let me put it this easy way--

A  FUCK  FOR  A  DUCK
A  DUCK  FOR  A  FUCK
NOW  I  HAVE  TWENNY  BUCKS
AND  A  FUCKED  UP  DUCK






















CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL
..






7 comments:

  1. HAAHAA..Nice post Capt.

    You reminded of someone. I want to share the video with you. Hope you like it...:)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D7rWLzloOI

    Aapko PRANAAM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi sid,

      osho has plagiarized.

      this is usual sailor talk.

      once a young cadet complained to the captain that another cadet called him a C#NT.

      so the captain mustered everybody and demanded " WHO IS THE C#NT WHO CALLED THIS FUCKIN' C#NT -- A C#NT ".

      capt ajit vadakayiil
      ..

      Delete
  2. LOL...Capt.you're real funny sometimes..

    And yeah, its quiet possible that Osho copied it. You know, he read a lot. He claimed to read 1,50,000 books..!!. Hard to digest.

    Any way, keep the fun flowing.
    BLESS YA...:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lav KaulMarch 9, 2014 at 12:12 PM
    Sir
    do you play golf?

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    Capt. Ajit VadakayilMarch 9, 2014 at 12:33 PM
    SAILORS PLAY GOLF TOO-

    Here are ZE rules-

    1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

    2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

    3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.

    4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

    5. Course owner reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

    6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

    7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.

    8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage player's equipment for this reason.

    9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

    10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover Someone else playing on what they consider to be a private course.

    11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will try alternative means of play when this is the case.

    12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with and approach to the hole.

    13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.

    14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.

    15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

    16. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.

    capt ajit vadakayil
    ..

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    ReplyDelete
  4. Capt. Ajit Vadakayil
    September 18, 2015 at 12:59 PM
    S Roy
    September 18, 2015 at 10:27 AM
    In Interstellar when Cooper was communicating with his daughter Murphy, he mentioned the connection as 'love' but is there a better word to describe that connection - is it conscience, emotional connect - is there any Sanskrit word for it.

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    #############################
    Capt. Ajit Vadakayil
    September 18, 2015 at 12:54 PM
    hi sr,

    i just imagined-if this question was put to RAJEEV MASAND the guy on AIB bakchod -- what he would SQUEAK.

    and imagining how this man would DIVE OFF THE DEEP END , squeaking pathetic nonsense all the while, i had the heartiest laugh since several days..

    the movie INTERSTELLAR has NOT been understood by anyone on this planet ( including the maker ) for you need to know Vedanta and Quantum physics to comment on the movie as a whole.

    THIS MOVIE HAS AN EVIL AGENDA.-- IT TRIES TO PROVE THAT THERE IS NO CREATOR GOD -- BUT FOR SOME "THEY " TYPE BENEVOLENT ENTITY.

    Thorne’s old friend Stephen Hawking, has been warning that the long-term survival of our species depends on us developing interstellar travel.

    So we must grow GM crops, we must stop burning coal , we must stop cremations --for in this movie there was only GM Corn as food .

    MAD MAN Stephen Hawkin's loaded astro physics has placed this movie in the realm of STUPID -- and has NO scientific base -- where they try to integrate newton's classical physics along with Einsteins theories- by bleeding gravity through dimensions.

    While the Endurance team is away, Prof Brand will continue to work on an advanced equation that, if solved, will allow humans to harness fifth-dimensional physics – specifically gravity.

    The equations on the black board are textbook general relativity equations-- pathetic !

    Both Newton and Einstein have stolen everything from India.

    Interstellar uses Einsteins RELATIVITY, GRAVITY LENSING, TIME DILATION, SPACE TIME CURVATURE , SINGULARITY , SPIRAL YUGA TIME , WORM HOLE PROVIDED BY OM, BUTTERFLY EFFECT BY SOLITON WAVE OF COCONUT SMASH , BLACK HOLE OF KALI, VARAHA AVATAR SAVING GENETIC BLUEPRINT CODE BEFORE PRALAYA , AAKASHIK RECORDS -- all lifted from Vedanta.

    Quantum Physics is embedded in Hinduism.

    The 10-year-old daughter, Murphy believes their house is haunted by a ghost that is trying to communicate with her by dropping books off a shelf in her room. THEY are sending an unknown form of intelligence sending them coded messages by means of gravitational anomaly altering the dust on the floor in a binary pattern .

    In Hinduism we read of SIGNS from our dead ancestors when we do REM sleep. That is why we do Pitr Paksha.

    Equipped with conscious robot ( only conscious computer can tell jokes and understand subtle humor ) TARS's data on the singularity, Cooper communicates Murph across the dimensional barrier from inside a fifth dimension tesseract through gravitational waves ( bleeding Newtons asshole ) , making him the "ghost" from her childhood ( bleeding Einsteins asshole ) .

    With this information, Murph is able to complete Brand's equation, allowing Earth's population to be evacuated el pronto—OOPS ! I must NOT get so cynical !.

    Now how does Cooper Praaji reach this Tesseract or Phesseract or whatever ? Pray? Prithee ?—


    CONTINUED TO 2-

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    1. CONTINUED FROM 1-

      -- a place beyond the event horizon of a black hole, where our man can view time as though it were a spatial dimension ( sic !).

      The conscious robot goes down a black hole to send back HAJAAAR “quantum data”

      They encounter a planet near a black hole, and decide to go around it to avoid the “time shift zone” --AIYOO AIYOO !

      NASA has been driven ‘underground’ as a secret organization --it also doubles up as a future humankind’s space-traveling ark. -- first generation of embryos are already with them – each subsequent generation helping to raise a new set of embryos (as well as reproduce naturally) PLAN A , if you pleaJJe..

      Translating that coded data gives Murph all the information she needs to drastically advance humanity’s understanding of space and time – as well as complete Plan A – CHOONA LAGAAKE !.

      But hey, they have PLAN B too. So that is why Cooper Praji sacrifices himself to reduce weight on the Endurance, thus ensuring Amelia can make it to Edmonds’ planet and kick ze goal of Plan B .

      But hey, THEY help cooper -- instead of dying alone in space, Cooper is pulled inside The Tesseract - the gravitational singularity that is maintaining the wormhole – created by the aforementioned THEY .

      Hey, I am beginning to fall in LOBE nay love with THEY. Where is my CHARKHA .

      INTERSTELLAR MEIN CHARKHA GHUMAAAKE PLAN B SAPHAL HUA-- SACHCHI MEIN !

      Kosher NASA scientists spAke that THEY ” are an advanced extraterrestrial race who have unlocked the mysteries of dimensional manipulation - and, for some NOT SO FAALTHU reason, decided to aid mankind in escaping our doomed planet. GOD BILKUL HAI HI NAHI !

      THEY are loathe to communicate directly with us humans – coz they are fifth-dimensional, having transcended our three-dimensional ways of understanding the universe.

      However THEY acquiesce to lay out a series of rudimentary library dust ripples – nay - breadcrumbs (binary messages) and advanced technology ( down the rabbit-nay- the wormhole) for humans to follow – in order to save ourselves from annihilation.

      THEY will sambhavami Yuge Yuge ( TEE HEE !)

      Cooper and Murph are saviors of humanity,chosen by THEY - the fifth-dimensional humans – who can observe past, present, and future of AAKASHA – custom-build The Tesseract for Cooper, so that he can communicate with his daughter in the past and relay the data that funny TARS (the quadrilateral shaped robot) had collected inside the singularity.

      SEARCH FOR SRI YANTRA BINDU IN SINGULARITY TOO --LANGOT PHAADKE- NAY—RUMAAAL JHODKE )

      Of HAJAAAAR importance is --the fifth-dimensional communication through gravity (made visible by three-dimensional objects back on Earth) enables Cooper to gently PEEPTA BHARPOORN , manipulate the hands on Murph’s watch – transferring the data that funny TARS acquired with morse coded watch ticks.

      Gravity bleeds via Newton’s asshole through to other dimensions in time and space to Einsteins asshole , allowing Cooper to spell out a message (“S-T-A-Y”) by pushing them mangy books off of Murph’s shelf – or communicate map coordinates to the past version of himself by spreading them dust across the floor (in binary language).

      If only this IDIOT knew the meaning of consciousness field.

      So so so—thief Newton’s Laws, what we perceive as a finite calculation could actually have infinite implications and fit into the plans of thief Einstein –kosher vineger mein daaalke.

      THEY kaun hai bhaiiya ? Aliens hai kya ? AKKAL KA DUSHMA YUVRAAJ ko poochna padenga ! Escape velocity bi pooch lenge !

      Hum honge kaamyaab !

      Capt ajit vadakayil..
      ..

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    2. Genuinely , those who lift & manipulate from the most insightful Indian Vedic knowledge of the universe have no clue how foolish they would appear once exposes happen ,like how you have mentioned elaborately here. Do you think they would just want to portray dubious theories of Newton & Einstein as ingenious & authentic , in this internet age? Don't you think this is a form of imprinting their desired outcome ?

      Advanced New Year 2016 wishes :-)

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