Monday, December 13, 2010

UNIVERSAL LAWS -- CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL




LAWS

For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.

Wisdom is considered a sign of weakness by the powerful because a wise man can lead without power, but only a powerful man can lead without wisdom.

Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.

Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for.

There ain't no free lunch.

In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. - This person must be fired , el pronto!

There are two sides to every argument unless the boss is personally involved, in which case there is only one.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.

To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut.

A hand in the bush is worth two anywhere else- hmmm .

Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.

Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shalt not be disappointed.

Merely because the group is in formation does not mean that the group is on the right course.

If you put nonsense into a computer, nothing comes out but nonsense. But this nonsense, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled, and no one dares to criticize it.

Nothing will be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome


Whoever has the gold makes the rules.  Gold's Law

When someone you greatly admire and respect appears to be thinking deep thoughts, they are probably thinking about lunch.

When two people meet to decide how to spend a third person's money, fraud will result.

Cynics are right nine times out of ten; what undoes them is their belief that they are right ten times out of ten.

When we call others dogmatic, what we really object to is their holding dogmas that are different from our own.

The Pace of Progress: Society is a mule, not a car . . . If pressed too hard, it will kick and throw off its rider.

In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Give an idiot a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.

An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him.



In God we trust; all others pay cash.—revision no 1 of US dollar bill

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Does history record any case in which the majority was right?

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.


If love is a matter of chemistry, then sex is a matter of physics.

You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you step into it.

BEWARE OF THE GUY IN MEDIEVAL ROBES, HOLDING A  CURVED STAFF WHO SPEAKS LATIN.

Money is like manure. If you spread it around, it does a lot of good. But if you pile it up in one place, it
stinks like hell.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

The second most powerful phrase in the world is "Watch this!"   The most powerful phrase is "Oh yeah? watch this!"

Reforms come from below. No man with four aces howls for a new deal.

In a crowded elevator the guy who faces the wrong way is feared—and will get more space 

Only kings, editors, and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial "WE"

One man's red tape is another man's system.

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

All great discoveries are made by mistake. Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Demons from the past tried to slaughter mE present

2 topics in women's magazines—why men are such filthy pigs—how to attract a man

Never stick around with guys who go through life , demanding to see the manager


The difference between stalking and the sweet pursuit is salesmanship

My wife is immature—i'll be at home taking mE bath and she will barge in and sink mE fuckin' boats

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt

11th commandment—thou shall not be caught

Work is the curse of the drinking classes

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal

Politicians who complain about the media are like ship captains whom complain about the sea

Cynicism is the art of seeing things as they are instead of as they ought to be

Always end your pet' name with a vowel—so that when you yell , the name would carry

Vodka is for Russians what therapy is for Americans

If the guy has a rear view mirror on his exercise bike, he is paranoid

Sometimes when you give up hope --you feel much better

Everything can be filed under miscellaneous


CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL

1 comment:

  1. very true.
    "thou shall not be caught". ha ha ha

    ReplyDelete