“ Good morning happiness” – screams a swank cooking range advertisement.
Surely marketing whizkid know zilch about happiness. It cant be bought or sold by money.
Happiness is FREE. It is about filling up the space deep inside, or gratification of the soul. It is about equilibrium or dynamic balance between your SPIRIT , MIND AND MATTER. For life is a combination of spiritual, intellectual and physical aspects. It is achieved by deserving.
Happiness has to overtake you. Say—if you choose harmony over truth , you are overtaking happiness— it wont work.
A cold fizzy coke will not make you happy. Never equate happiness with matter. It is more of spirit and mind. Inner peace, like peace at home will make you happy. A free swank cooking range could ignite the heart of a house wife , but it wont gratify her soul or cause her heart to sing.
Happiness is a victory lap of positive forces over negative forces in your life. Now let us call the positive forces Pandavas, and the negative forces Kauravas. Just for the sake of simplicity. ( Pssst--both Ramayan and Mahabharata have been written backwards. The principle of nothing succeeds like success has been applied . If Ravan had won the war, we would have been shooting fire arrows at Ram on Dusshera day. Read both the epics and have an opinion for yourself )
Let me make a list of Pandava forces, in a random order – for all prefer to have their priorities. Let us assume you have no needs which come from insufficiency, rather you have only wants . To be without few things you want is a indispensable part of happiness.
Freedom from want is the greatest liberator. The gambler who waits for one more spin of the roulette is not exactly liberated.
The Mahaprajnaparamita Shastra states:
"When one seeks an object of desire,one suffers.
When one gets an object of desire,One fears losing it.
When one loses an object of desire,One is greatly troubled.
At each and every point,There is no joy."
All things of great value are absolutely free, given an received in silence without an audience :-
Good robust health. A hospital stay is a great leveller. Feel young—you cant do that unless you exercise. It releases feel good chemicals.
A positive cash flow. I call this commonsense—we are in the 21st century. Never respect utter poverty.
An abundance of free time (like mE pet cat) . Many interests to keep you busy , so that you don’t get bored. Free time to discover what makes your heart sing, to chill out or be a bit reckless and merry once in a while -- free time to discover your talents and polish them and show case them.
Where you can be who you are , comfortable in our own skin. No need to fake it or go against your grain or be a pretender—no need for wigs or high heels or hair dye. Where an elephant need not try to be a horse to improve its self esteem . Where you don’t need to make heads turn or show off or do oneupmanship. I call this place a home—it is different from egopowered page 3 partyplace where a woman so wrapped up in herself will drag 4 feet of her gown on the dirty floor to draw the eyes of the world. Have you ever wondered why yester year heroines put a red bindi, the size of a lemon on their foreheads?
Your home is for you to live in not others to gape at. That does not mean a cluttered or dirty home.
Being close to beautiful nature— feeling ze cool wind through your hair, crisp air in your lungs, clean blue waters— rather feeling one with nature-- a natural high. If you are allergic to your area , flee from it. Harmony with nature is a must. No point in having wheezing and a blocked nose. You cant even sleep properly or enjoy your food .
Freedom from worry, compulsive thinking , negativity and clinging .
Loving your job—in which case it is play , not work. Some autonomy is needed so that you work on your own terms ( this does not mean you can bring your dog to work ) , not your boss leading you by your nostrils on a tight leash. No golden handcuffs on you, that you cant quit the undignified job if you want. Freedom , like health , is appreciated only when you lose it.
Have integrity—where you walk your talk or where is video is congruent with your audio. Have clear meaning and purpose to your life.
Being creative, productive, wearing yourself out for a purpose, to leave a lasting legacy to the world. Living your life by design—not default.
Wiping a tear from a hungry man. Giving a lift to a footslogger whom you have always ignored. Visiting someone who never expected you , in the hospital. Feel the happiness course through your veins. I call this bliss. Being socially responsible.
Riches of the mind. Intellectual property. Following the path of self discovery.
An open heart .
Celebrations when you have won something your deserved and worked hard at.
Sleeping well at night, because you have a clean conscience – for you have never stitched up anybody . Because you have a sense of accomplishment in managing the pieces of your day and feel like a winner. Because you have run your own race . You have no need to over analyze and then declutter your mind or tonsure the past with booze and drugs.
Responding to daily events in a manner which is in harmony with the oneness of the fabric and principles of the universe. “ Num myoho renghe kyo “ . It you want to know further , google chrome this Tibetian mantra.
The feel that your are growing in life.
Good books, great music, good friends.
Ability to say NO and pull the plug. Ability to cast a shoe aside that does not fit. Being graceful , mature and poised while doing this.
Use pain solely for feedback. Using pain as a message from nature.
Responding to life proactively , not reacting.
Not eating too much.
Ability to play a bad hand well.
A good sense of humor.
Never to breach a trust.
Pride in own character.
Hope in defeat. Faith in your abilities.
Heart free of hate. Happiness is a huge by-product of those actions we take for the benefit of others. Thus compassion and forgiveness are perfectly selfish and wise acts. Kindness, generosity, patience, tolerance, humility, fairness , helping others to grow and reach their potential -- all create happiness.
Following your emotions but know when to control them. An easy and calm mind can only be attained when emotions are allowed a safe expression.
A king sized ego. Perfectionism is a deep ego trip. Inability to separate your pride from the situation in hand.
Material greed to fill up the hole in your life and psyche. Allowing beautiful things to own you.
Inability to see your own assets with pride. Inability to see the positive.
Lack of age reversing emotions like joy, forgiveness, love, respect, friendship, self esteem and lightheartedness . The skin tone shows on people who are not self actualized and unable to laugh. Only laughter can release those chemicals which electrify your nerves.
Lack of zest and enthusiasm for life. Bad manners.
Taking things personally and hypersensitivity . Dwelling on nasty remarks . Inability to move on after grieving.
Seeing only problems—no possibilities. Mired in self pity. Crying type.
Inability to enjoy the moment or give a full blooded shot.
Lack of grace under pressure.
Negative revengeful thoughts.
Expecting too much. Concentrating on what you don’t have.
Breaking your own word to yourself consistently.
Going to bed with unresolved differences with your wife and children.Inability to spend quality time with them.
Addicted to emotional drama, hysteria and cynicism.
Being happy at the expense of anothers deep unhappiness.
Inability to adapt and CHANGE to the new order — remaining vulnerable and unhappy in the unfamiliar zone.
psssst, the best for the last---
one of the PANDAVAS is -- you must experience as many colours hues of nature every day ( flowers, blue water, white clouds, green grass, red sunset etc ) during a nature walk , -- and as many food taste varieties ( salty, sweet, sour, bitter etc ).
never let a small dispute injure a great friendship--
if everything you did in life was perfectly safe and straight-laced--well you never had any exhilarating moment you could think about on your deathbed , and puzzle the sad onlookers. security is the lowest form of happiness-
--NEVER SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF, NOR SHORT SELL YOURSELF-- LEARN TO LET GO AT THE RIGHT TIME-- the more crap you put up with, the more you get on your face--
everyone cries out of selfishness-- keep away from SELF PITY, for it will interfere with positive action-- nobody has ever shed a tear on this planet for someone else--
make peace with your past --so that you don't mar your present --
never jump into the bandwagon, or bow to precedent-- never be preoccupied with stuff over which you have zilch control--
treat life as an adventure-- never let criticism shake your confidence--
happiness is NOT in the mundane, but in the deep ocean of happiness that lies beneath. live beneath your means and within your seams.
happiness is not a constant. just because you are not happy it does not mean something is wrong. perfect utopia lies only in the minds of unhappy perfectionists.
identify and avoid disruptive behavior. never bow to precedent. cut off ties with dishonest , mean and negative people. the more crap you put up with, the more crap you will get. refuse to be swayed by emotion when it conflicts with reason. avoided problems will not go away, rather it becomes worse. always have your opinions. silence has lead the way to every atrocity in history. never show weakness while negotiating. make peace with your past so that it does not mess up your present. accept that life is NOT always fair.
if your purpose of life is security then you will be a failure. security is the lowest form of happiness ( ask an animal in the zoo ).
Happiness cannot be thrust upon you, it comes from within as a result of your own actions. Al seasons are beautifu for the person whose happiness comes from within. Have a sense of humor, or you are like the car without a suspension , jolted by every pot hole. Use sense of humor as a balancing pole pole on the tightrope of life .
Forget about Maslows theory-- you cannot be happy unless your job is something yo love and you feel it matters. Unless you make peace with what you are , you will never be content with what you have.
Shared laughter creates bonds of friendship. Shared laughter melts all divides.
Like Tennyson said--The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions. Stop worrying about things which are beyond the power of your will. To be truly happy you need a clear sense of purpose and meaning in life.
The movie Saturday night fever taught this lesson from Aristotle to western folks-- Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.
The most difficult thing that you can do is to watch the person you love , love someone else. When you contribute to a team effort-- you're happiest while you're making the greatest contribution.
Knowing what is right and not being able to do it is cowardice. Such a man cannot be happy. The current is food on the table. The past is shit in the septic tank. Why do you insist on entering this stinkin' tank every hour of the day? Self pity and resentment are self destructive.
THE CRUX IS TO UNCOVER THE HAPPINESS HIDDEN IN EVERY MOMENT, THAT SILVER LINING--THIS MUST BE A MINDSET -- follow your heart--
--AND FINDING WORK YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT. LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR DOING WORK YOU DONT ENJOY. at work, be the team player-- try to increase the size of the whole pie, not just your portion on ze pie--
--AND REMEMBER-- ALLOW TEMPTATION TO OVERTAKE YOU , ONCE IN A WHILE ( VADAKAYIL'S ADVICE --TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT )
LIVE LIFE ON YOUR OWN TERMS -- WITHOUT FREEDOM THERE CAN BE NO HAPPINESS. Never short sell yourself.
Keep life simple. a happy bloke does not expect too much of gratitude..
Man is the only animal who makes bargains. Can you imagine a cat making a conditional bargain—if I help you out of this mess , you must gives me the head of your dinner fish.
Remember that happiness is not constant. Some people think that if they're not feeling happy, something is wrong.
One of the great secrets to happiness is to be immersed in an activity that is complex, where you have the skills to match that activity. By stretching your mind as you work, you enter into a state of mind where you lose all sense of time.
AFTER THE GAME OF LIFE , THE KING AND THE PAWN GOES INTO THE SAME BOX-- WHAT IS ALL THIS
BULLSHIT ONE-UP-MANSHIP WHILE ALIVE ?
ALL OF US ARE IN RAFTS ON A RAPID RIVER HEADING FOR THAT PLUNGE DOWN THE WATER FALL OF DEATH -- 100% SURE !!
Capt Ajit Vadakayil