Sunday, November 21, 2010

LOVE -- CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL



LOVE IS UNSTABLE.  HENCE SOCIETY CAUSED MARRIAGE TO COME INTO EXISTENCE. 

LOVE IS A FRESH FLOWER-- MARRIAGE IS PLASTIC.   

YOU CAN MARRY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD-- AFTER 2 MONTHS SHE WONT EXCITE YOU ANY MORE PHYSICALLY.  HENCE NEVER MARRY FOR BEAUTY.

MARRIAGE IS THE DEATH OF LOVE.  MARRIAGE IS A GREAT EFFORT BETWEEN TWO PERSONS TO CREATE A CONTINUING SYMPHONY.  WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS THE STRINGS ARE STILL ATTACHED.

LOVE IS THE GREATEST GIFT OF GOD.  IT IS THE ONLY EXPERIENCE WHICH TRANSCENDS TIME.   WHEN A GIRL PEEPS FROM BEHIND THE CURTAINS TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF HER BELOVED, SHE WILL NOT KNOW HOW TIME FLIES.

LOVE TRANSCENDS AGE , RACE , CREED AND RELIGION.   MOST OF THE TIME WHEN YOU SAY YOU ARE IN LOVE, IT IS JUST AN ARRANGEMENT OF CONVENIENCE.

A CANCER PATIENT ON A TWO WAY STREET OF LOVE CAN CURE HIMSELF-- SUCH IS THE POWER OF MIND OVER MATTER.

RELATIONSHIP IS A STRUCTURE, LOVE IS UNSTRUCTURED.

TRUE LOVERS HAVE GIVEN EACH OTHER A FEW MOMENTS OF ETERNITY.. THEY WILL REMEMBER THESE MOMENTS, BE GRATEFUL TO EACH OTHER AND DEPART AS FRIENDS.

LOVE CANNOT BE MANAGED , IT JUST HAPPENS.   

LOVE IS ABOUT TWO HEARTS BEATING AS ONE IN RESONANCE.  IT MAKES THE LOVERS ACT SILLY.  

LOVE MAKES YOU LOSE SLEEP-- FOR REALITY IS NOW FAR BETTER THAN YOUR WET DREAMS.

LOVE’S WAYS ARE BEYOND YOU. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO KNOW WHEN IT IS APPROPRIATE TO START OR STOP IT.  IF YOU WANT TO START IT AND END IT ON YOUR TIMETABLE, THEN IT WAS NOT LOVE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

LOVE IS AN UNCONDITIONAL GIFT, NOT A BARGAIN.  IT BLOSSOMS ONLY IF YOU DROP YOUR EGO.

LOVE IS THE ONLY NOURISHMENT FOR THE SOUL. 

LOVE IS THE ONLY BEAUTIFYING PHENOMENON IN EXISTENCE. YOUR BODY RADIATES IT.,  IT IS NOT PART OF THE BODY— IT COMES FROM DEEPER  SOURCES.

A WOMAN BECOMES BEAUTIFUL JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER.  THE HEART SEES WHAT IS INVISIBLE TO THE EYE.  IT IS ABOUT SEEING A IMPERFECT PERSON PERFECTLY.

IF LOVE BRINGS MISERY, IT CANNOT BE LOVE.  SOMETHING ELSE IS MASQUERADING AS LOVE. ANALYSE IT AND BE READY TO DROP IT.

THE PAIN OF LOVE LASTS A LIFETIME.   LOVE IS FELT ONLY BY THE HEART.

WISDOM ON LOVE AND LIFE (LIKE  POETRY) IS NOT THERE IN THE WORDS,  IT ONLY HOVERS AROUND IT.  YOU MUST BE UNFOCUSSED WHEN YOU READ IT TO CATCH HOLD OF IT. 





Note: "All you need is love" is full of meaning.  A cancer patient can cure himself if he falls in love on two way lane.  The heart generates the largest field in the body, thousand of times stronger than its nearest competitor, the brain.  This is why when you fall in love at first sight you will yawn -- a great release of energy, which can be felt by the subject.

CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL

..

33 comments:

  1. U mean there is no love in marriage??

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all-Oscar wilde
    Syanandoonan.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Captain

    I've been struggling for the past few months mentally. I need your guidance.

    I'm 28years old and I lost my father due to illness very early in my life, so I was raised by my mother since I was 12.

    My mother has a severe Borderline Personailty Disorder(BPD), at one moment she rages at me like anything and at other moment she is normal.

    I 've always been demeaned, ridiculed, shouted at and always been the target of her rage, her words just crushes my heart and makes me cry within.

    She is so unpredictable and I dont know when she will rage, in a day.

    Actually, God has blessed me in other aspects of life.

    I'm a very very loving and a normal person at heart, and I've plenty of friends. I always pray for other people and go to any extent to help my friends.

    Also, I take care of my mom like anything, in fact I used to be obsessive about her. I've taken to her almost all the places in south india and I always take care of her like a queen.

    I'm a very positive person, very rational, and people tell me that I'm very handsome too.

    I've good academic acheivements and hold a good job too.

    But at home, I've never felt loved, my father showered enormous love on me but he passed away when I was very young.

    I have a sister and she has a severe case of BPD too, her life has been a turmoil and being the only male member in the family my mother always made me support all my sister's cruel activities.

    I've to tell you this as well - my mom takes care of everything in the house, she is a wonderful man manager and fulfilled all my needs financially and in terms of giving me healthy food and other necessities.
    (contd to)

    ReplyDelete
  4. (contd from)
    If I'm sick, she will always be with me taking care of me.

    I'm basically a very emotional person and after my dad's death, I just loved my mom like anything

    But since childhood, I've been a subject to her rage, but at those times I brushed it off, controlled my feelings and tried not to upset her.

    But she is very very unpredictable and over the years, I started feeling lost. Because, her words are so cruel, she rages when I am experiencing something happiest, she makes me feel like a worthless human.

    While 20% of the times she treats me like a son, the rest 80% of the times she is like a devil in disguise humiliating me to the core.

    To others or if she is attending some family functions or events, she appears to be very sweet, in fact all her relatives and friends love her and tell her that she is a sweetheart, she is very very pretty too.

    But while returning from those events, I tell her, "Mom you are a cat outside, but a cruel tiger in home". She just puts the blame on me, stating that I'm a cruel child and dont know her worth.

    Though my mom doesn't work, she is financially well-off, she has a lot resources and gets a very good monthly income.

    So, for the past 1 year I've been thinking of leaving my mom and moving to another city. But i'm being mentally crushed because of the following reasons -

    - I'm a very emotional person and I just keep reminding to myself all the good things my mom did to me. I still remember the days when I go and hide under my mom's saree whenever I feel scared(I didnt know whether my mom loved me even

    at that time, but she always says that "I never wanted kids, but it is only your dad who was always wanting to have kids, in fact I've never kissed you or your sister when you were young")

    - Since I don't have my dad, if I leave my mom, I will completely feel like an orphan, I'm a guy who always yearn for love and just could not take this ambigous loss.

    - Every day in home is literally hell, my mom rages at me daily, and I couldnt share it with my friends either, so it is all locked up within and I'm experiencing sever mental trauma.

    At one side, the fear of being an orphan literally if I move to another city and the other side the mental agony if I stay in home, every day is just a living hell for me.

    I just don't know what to do.

    I want your advice very badly, Captain.

    Please help me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Captain

    I've been struggling for the past few months mentally. I need your guidance.

    I'm 28years old and I lost my father due to illness very early in my life, so I was raised by my mother since I was 12.

    My mother has a severe Borderline Personailty Disorder(BPD), at one moment she rages at me like anything and at other moment she is normal.

    I 've always been demeaned, ridiculed, shouted at and always been the target of her rage, her words just crushes my heart and makes me cry within.

    She is so unpredictable and I dont know when she will rage, in a day.

    Actually, God has blessed me in other aspects of life.

    I'm a very very loving and a normal person at heart, and I've plenty of friends. I always pray for other people and go to any extent to help my friends.

    Also, I take care of my mom like anything, in fact I used to be obsessive about her. I've taken to her almost all the places in south india and I always take care of her like a queen.

    I'm a very positive person, very rational, and people tell me that I'm very handsome too.

    I've good academic acheivements and hold a good job too.

    But at home, I've never felt loved, my father showered enormous love on me but he passed away when I was very young.

    I have a sister and she has a severe case of BPD too, her life has been a turmoil and being the only male member in the family my mother always made me support all my sister's cruel activities.

    I've to tell you this as well - my mom takes care of everything in the house, she is a wonderful man manager and fulfilled all my needs financially and in terms of giving me healthy food and other necessities.
    (contd to)

    ReplyDelete
  6. (contd from)
    If I'm sick, she will always be with me taking care of me.

    I'm basically a very emotional person and after my dad's death, I just loved my mom like anything

    But since childhood, I've been a subject to her rage, but at those times I brushed it off, controlled my feelings and tried not to upset her.

    But she is very very unpredictable and over the years, I started feeling lost. Because, her words are so cruel, she rages when I am experiencing something happiest, she makes me feel like a worthless human.

    While 20% of the times she treats me like a son, the rest 80% of the times she is like a devil in disguise humiliating me to the core.

    To others or if she is attending some family functions or events, she appears to be very sweet, in fact all her relatives and friends love her and tell her that she is a sweetheart, she is very very pretty too.

    But while returning from those events, I tell her, "Mom you are a cat outside, but a cruel tiger in home". She just puts the blame on me, stating that I'm a cruel child and dont know her worth.

    Though my mom doesn't work, she is financially well-off, she has a lot resources and gets a very good monthly income.

    So, for the past 1 year I've been thinking of leaving my mom and moving to another city. But i'm being mentally crushed because of the following reasons -

    - I'm a very emotional person and I just keep reminding to myself all the good things my mom did to me. I still remember the days when I go and hide under my mom's saree whenever I feel scared(I didnt know whether my mom loved me even

    at that time, but she always says that "I never wanted kids, but it is only your dad who was always wanting to have kids, in fact I've never kissed you or your sister when you were young")

    - Since I don't have my dad, if I leave my mom, I will completely feel like an orphan, I'm a guy who always yearn for love and just could not take this ambigous loss.

    - Every day in home is literally hell, my mom rages at me daily, and I couldnt share it with my friends either, so it is all locked up within and I'm experiencing sever mental trauma.

    At one side, the fear of being an orphan literally if I move to another city and the other side the mental agony if I stay in home, every day is just a living hell for me.

    I just don't know what to do.

    I want your advice very badly, Captain.

    Please help me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi a,

      first thing to understand is -- YOUR MOTHER IS A "CLINICAL CASE" AND THERE IS NO POINT IN PUTTING THE BLAME ON HER .

      THERE ARE LAKHS OF MOTHERS IN INDIA WHO ARE EXACTLY THE SAME -- BEHAVE BAD AT HOME AND ARE ANGELS OUTSIDE THE HOME .

      you must sit down with her when she is in a good mood and tell his that she needs medical help.

      tell her that you have reached saturation point - and cant take it anymore -- and that if she refuses medical help you will be forces to live else where and continue with your life .

      tell her that you LOVE and and you are grateful for all the help and motherly care she has given you .

      tell her you cannot concentrate in your work or study or whatever.

      she will cry and blackmail you by emotions -- tell her all this will NOT work-- you need some mental peace . and you are started shouting at your friends and bosses ( give bull )--and you are sub-consciously affected .

      ask her if that is what she wants .

      there are medicines to control this.

      take your mother an sister to a good psychiatrist.-- separately.

      finally--

      she is your mother --be a bit tolerant.

      however make sure it does NOT affect your family life ( wife/ kids ) .

      capt ajit vadakayil
      ..

      Delete
    2. Dear Captain

      It is impossible to take her to a psychiatrist, because she doesn't even realize she has a problem at all.

      Also, she is from a very orthodox brought up, so even the occurrence of the word psychiatrist is very alien to her.

      I've talked to her several times that her rage is upsetting me terribly, but she puts the blame on me stating that I'm the reasons for her rages. She rages at me for all reasons to no reason, she cannot distinguish what is a joke and what is a serious stuff. If I keep quite for a day, she keeps asking me what is the problem, she then starts to cajole me.

      I'm not married yet. The problem is I have a very high self esteem and self regard, all my friends and colleagues treat me with high regard. But my mom treats me like zilch, worthless, she doesn't even understand who I am, what my achievements are and how the outside world looks at me, so I feel very insulted when my mom rages at me, and it happens daily that I always feel like moving out of home, but the thought of becoming an orphan literally crushes me.

      It is impossible to make my mom understand that her rage is killing me or take her to a psychiatrist, and at the same time it is crushing to spend time at home daily.

      I couldn't think of anything else other than moving out to another city. I love her but I love myself too. I'm just mentally crushed.

      Should I still stick staying with my mom, Captain?

      Delete
    3. hi a,

      no mad person will accept that he is mad.

      you mother is a CLINICAL CASE.

      there is NO pint blaming her.

      even if you stay away ,you will only bring misery to her.

      you have to convince her to take the medicines -- or you will stay in another house.

      next time she shouts at you-- do NOT talk to her or look at her for 24 hours or eat food . Go to a hotel and eat on the quiet . come back home late at night .

      capt ajit vadakayil
      ..

      Delete
    4. Thank you Captain. Will follow the same for some time.

      Delete
  7. Hello Sir,
    I feel the gora gand has exaggerated romance.

    What do you feel ?

    With the going down on one knee.

    playing guitar and holding a rose.

    I am a romantic but these stuff sound gayish and keeping the woman up the pedestal.

    It is portraying the nice guy which every woman hates. Though she ll say he is such a sweet heart only to punch him in the heart later.

    Hollywood and later bollywood has totally messed it up.

    If you watch movies, i suggest you watch the original korean version of "My Sassy Girl" - Yeopgijeogin Geunyeo with your misses, you both will enjoy

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi sk,

      just tell them that you HATED their company ethics.

      and if they want to take it further - you will hire a women's commission lawyer with media presence to trash it out.

      http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2011/07/bully-capt-ajit-vadakayil.html

      MAKE A CHECK LIST OF WHAT ETHIC DID NOT DOVE TAIL WITH ACCEPTED NORMS - SEND THEM A COUNTER NOTICE-

      http://ajitvadakayil.blogspot.in/2010/12/core-values-exemplary-capt-ajit.html

      BOND AND CONTRACT IS ALL RIGHT, ONLY IF COMPANY ETHICS ARE OK.

      THREATEN TO SUE THEM.

      capt ajit vadakayil
      ..

      Delete
    2. I read the post on bullying in which u mentioned how a Bihari boy was doing overwork. This is what happens in indian IT companies. After 3 months of training company gave, I hardly worked for 15-20 days n I could see how much unhappy people r n the stress they go through, that's why I left. I didn't want these things to happen with me. They sucked the life of people.

      Do u think they can sue me in Indian court? I haven't seen them doing this with others. I am ignoring them for now, but if they get nasty then I will go ahead with ur suggestion. Mostly they convince people (by fearing them with legal notice) to do settlement.

      Thanks for ur advice sir.

      Delete
  9. Namaste sir

    Why do south Indian ladies decorate their hair with a jasmine flower garland or any other flower garland . is it related to beauty or health related.

    i have heard that scent of jasmine reduce anxiety and makes one feel good.

    please write your opinion on this topic.

    regards
    Nelson Singh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi ns,

      jasmine is an aphrodisiac.

      capt ajit vadakayil
      ..

      Delete
    2. what about other flowers sir . are they also aphrodisiac .

      Delete
  10. Namaste sir

    i have read that people who are bonded eternally by their love come around together and together again,life after life.






    ReplyDelete
  11. She looked everywhere else except me
    As if the space didn't exist where I stood
    She went away from me and stood in crowd
    As if the space didn't exist where I stood
    Do I even exist

    [just letting it out, nothing major. chill]

    ReplyDelete
  12. Do boys sometime do the yawn thing too when they come across the girl they like?

    I have noticed myself becoming more manly in voice and attitude in front of one, and then becoming very lazy and doing little stretching and yawning sitting besides another. No, I wasn't getting bored or something in the latter case.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I don't know if you care enough to reply... or if I matter enough against your precious time for your response, but with all my heart, I humbly beg for Your help... __/|\__

    5 years ago, in 2013 (I was 13 and in 8th Std.), I yawned for a girl. One year my senior, tall, gorgeous (at the time). She looked like a pure goddess when I saw her... And she was looking at me. Keeping apart the obvious "love at first sight" gimmick, what followed then was a full-blown crypto-mortal worship in the garb of "love". I never ever approached the girl, and the various circumstances that took place made me confused as to her views towards to me.. On her last day of School, my worst nightmare came true when she revealed she never ever cared who the hell I was. We know the usual routine here.

    Anyways, my ego was shattered then. Being in the hormone charged first year of Puberty, I swore my soul to two things. The second thing is irrelevant due to first one, i.e. it was a contigent oath only. The first one itself was:- I will never even touch another girl, whole my life is to be burned in the inferno of the love of (Let's call her N).

    Like a true sakht launda :D, I followed the oath with full vigor, ignoring any prospective girl. In 2016, I joined my college (pretty famous in Mumbai). Since I'm a Arts student, there are more than 120 girls and just under 20 boys in my class. I found 3-4 attractive girls, and I enjoyed eye-f*cking them at most but even this started late into 2016. Cut to mid-2017, start of second year, and I noticed one of the girls, was exactly my type... Let's call her K. The way she spoke, behaved. Let's just say for the life I have lived, grim and desolate, she was the Sun that could brighten it all up. I however kept firmly to my oath, and especially ignored any contacts from her... It was obvious she liked me back but I... :(

    Cut to December 2017, School fete. First time in five years, that the "love of my life" is in front of me... Like the most hardcore Vishnu bhakt, who doesn't give a dang for a beggar dressed as Krishna, I didn't feel a single thing in my heart for her. I didn't care to walk up to her. But I believe she saw me... I saw her one last time, this time I turned my back on her as she left. Such a mental shock this was however for me. All the pain, "love", lust, regret still in me... the mighty Glacier with-held the ocean of passion but refused to melt unto the drains of action.

    The second shock struck me like a bolt... How could I now lose my K? My sun... How did I dare to ignore her, one who was made for me? The way her hair smelled, the bubbly lively chirpy way she pranced and spoke, the way she looked... The most beautiful eyes I have looked into... Deer-like. The issue was now, College was basically over... And I needed to speak to her ASAP.

    To be continued:-

    ReplyDelete
  14. Continued:-

    Somehow, I managed to gather my guts and whilst spoiling my Prelim exams completely still, I have got her to agree to meet me alone just once... Just so I could reveal all my feelings to her without any regrets. But, she has already told me off, she has had a strong relationship boyfriend now in the while I was being a full blown chutiya, and the chances of me getting her are only 15-25% now...

    I want her, at any cost. When will I be happy? Shall I waste all my life in khanjar-in-the-dil memory panic attacks? The contemplation of possiblities had I just been wiser... I cannot make you understand, I believe through a mere comment, why I must *have Her* at all costs. But still, I have a small very narrow fighting chance. Just maybe I can convince her. Maybe I will win this time...

    The reason I write this for you is simple. What do you have in your full-fledged power, Captain Ajit Vadakayil, to help a human like me? What magic, what perfumes, what potions, what quantam physics can help me? I have done my best yet to salvage the situation. But I want to win now. This one victory, I beg your complete splendor to bestow upon me. I know, this seems cheap college romance when you take out all my peacockery and flowery langauge, but this is where sheer faith must stand.

    You set me on the path of righteousness. I am a good human. I deserve to be happy. You can only help me. I know this is not love, the unconditional force. This is my Kama. My only Kama. I have no lust for wealth, fame, glory, etc. beyond what is necessary for me to achieve. I am the Hindu who just wants to sit with his Wife and children in the beach and welcome the rising sun knowing I am content and whole with her and them around me. Will you not help me fulfill "the Indian Dream" we wish to create a society of to revive?

    I swear to you, on the very destiny of my soul and might, nobody, no Avatar, no (other) Veera, shall surpass the trailblazing I shall cast on our sacred world with her at my side. Nothing shall stand in our way. Nothing shall faze us.
    I have Shiva, ready to fight. Can you give me my Shakti?

    What can I do? What should I do? "How do I win her over in one meeting?"
    Simple questions like these are deciding the fate of millions and billions. With every moan from my mouth of hopelessness, billions of men wash away in the rampage that is to come, with every deep breath of Restraint and Optimism, billions of future Hindus are tightening their arms around their wife and children with love and contentment.

    This comment has gone grandiose far beyond average comments you read. But like the rain from the nimbus, this has emanated from my very soul, my very conscience. Time to act is now!

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    1. NO WOMAN IS WORTH PURSUING

      WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT-- THE BUTTERLY WILL ALIGHT ON YOUR HEAD

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  21. Captain, I never considered you a Guru, because I always related to you in ways nobody else has. When I found your blogs I felt as I found all the wisdom and knowledge that I would've otherwise myself accumulated over 40 years with a very different life and upbringing.
    That one thing which proved to me that you did know your stuff and got me hooked, was your Yawn of Love in this very blog post itself, because this can only be known and noted by a man of perception and sense.

    I am responsible for making 6 comments or so here, in this blog which will last till the sun goes Supernova. I was desperate at the levels of my soul, that I thought my parochial pleas were fit to be published here. Then I realized they would actually suit this Love post itself. It would help document my attempts as well for future readers. So then I went ahead and told you, as you were the only anchor I had to the other world who could help me.
    I know you did do something. Because all my struggles and approaches and heart-rending turmoil were pointless for this now :D

    Yes, My love has not left my life! She is still here! She will be doing BA along with me for the next THREE years. She is in the A division and I am in B. I could've landed up in the same class as her, but I was literally the last student to select my subjects during Admission time where they offered them on First Come First Serve basis! So I am forced to do Psychology, Philosophy and Sociology. Political Science will be done from outside by me now. Merit list showed her name for Inhouse readmission and I was in heavens! But after three days I saw her name in the list during the process without any sign meaning she had not taken Inhouse readmission. I lost all hope and thought she was gone forever. Needlessly I spent one extra month in depression!

    But now her class is literally next to mine and we will see each other daily usually. And now, we still share the same French class and will be seated in the same rooms for this.

    I know, she had never taken admission. That this is a different universe. My fate line which had her association line had got it totally vanished in the past two months. I then suddenly developed in time the line again rejoining my fate line after performing heartfelt havans on my own and doing various other Dharmic deeds. Her name wasn't there. But I begged for one magic from Parambrahman, and she came.

    I know it was because I found you years ago that today she is here in my destiny. Tommorrow onwards we both will be together again. I will say this to the universe, you will get Moksha when you yourself shall feel ready for it. This universe will serve you till you wish to leave it.

    Bless me for my New Life Captain, I give my Self to the cause of truth forever now. Empower me with means to battle now.

    Don't publish it Captain, this comment is for you :)

    ReplyDelete