Friday, May 14, 2010
MATURITY LESSONS -- CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL
We live in a world where MATURITY is mistaken for being dour , mean and stiff upper lipped.
It takes a Capt Vadakayil to expose these misanthropes.
An immature man must NEVER keep a dog as a pet--he should keep a cat, who will not hero worship him. ( Mindset: Cat — you are nothing but dust and ashes. Dog — for you the world was created.)
Read on to get a handle of maturity. It is not what the whole world and management school whizkid tell you.
A mature person lives according to the dictates of his own higher intelligence, not by whims and fancies. He does not have one foot in the past and one foot in the present to piss on the present. Right NOW— is the greatest moment of his life.
He knows the difference between what he cannot change and what he can. He knows what is his can never be taken away from him, while what has never been his will never stay with him.
He knows that most people are neither for him nor against him-- they are thinking about themselves and the grind of life. He is aware that no matter what he does, some people aren’t going to love him –
-- a lesson that is at first troubling and then quite relaxing. He knows that there is good and bad in all people and in all things he will think in absolutes, and is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally. Thus the rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.
A mature man does not engage in self-destructive behaviour, or burn up his energy in anxiety. He is not addicted to self pity and resentment. In a mature relationship, there is acceptance— there is no covert attempt to change or straitjacket the other.
He can enjoy the differences. For the foundation or a relationship is unconditional trust , transparency and freedom.
Maturity is the ability to do a job without being supervised. The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even. It is the capacity to endure uncertainty.
It is the ability to laugh at yourself. The ability to think, speak and act within the framework of dignity — MATURITY, IS KNOWING WHEN TO BE IMMATURE AND DERIVE SOME HAPPINESS FOR YOURSELF AND THE OTHERS. ( is the policeman in the picture , immature? )
He can communicate freely and understand the others point of view. He can give unconditional love.
In proactive behavior there is a pause between stimulus and response ( not a knee jerk reaction )— for making a suitable choice of response. This does not mean he is hypocritic politician. He is truthful without being cruel and lives life with compassion.
No one can be a threat to a mature man as he is the fountainhead of his own solutions. A mature man believes in himself and he is not dying or craving for the approval or gratitude of others.
He does not care for success at the cost of his dignity and honour. He will not let criticism or public opinion upset him. When your CONSCIENCE dictates your life, no one else can.
He will say what he wants to— but in an appropriate manner. He will reject what others say— but in a logical manner. He will maintain his self respect— and respect others, who deserve his respect.
A mature man knows that the difference between a loser and a winner is the difference in the readiness to learn and change, and not being bullheaded about it..
He will avoid sarcasm, yelling, emotional outbursts when mistakes occur.
A flexible person is always happier than a rigid one. Flexibility is a sign of life. Rigidity , its absence.
A mature man knows the principles of dynamic risk assessment and can imagine the WCS ( worst case scenario ).
When people talk about you behind your back, it confirms that you are important enough. No one kicks a dead dog.
When you cannot forgive someone you are chained to him by hatred and bitterness. So when you forgive the wrong doer it is a perfectly selfish act.
Mature people have the ability to focus on important things.. They can resign with good grace whatever they are not.. the eye wont insist that it can hear. They will not allow yesterday to use too much of today.
There is no reality — only perception. It is up to you to perceive things the way you want to.
Strike the right balance between effort and resignation .
Be yourself. Get better at listening to your own drummer.
CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL